My situation in life is somewhat outrageous, hideous to be exact, it is just because of major complications that I have to endure and almost every major part of my body has an illness already and probably more which I am not aware of. I am also afraid that soon my liver would fail because of the extended period of time that I am medicating it with a noxious and bitter, hard to endure and hard to stomach plus hard to afford Parathyroid medicine.
I hope that in the future the big pharmaceuticals would invent or discover a much better medicine for hyperparathyroidism which would not cause appetite-loss and nausea, I am all fed-up with it but I am helpless to forgo in using it because I will risk myself with much worse condition of lingering pain and further disfigurement of my facial bone.
My longing in my life now is to just get a decent dialysis which I already have accomplished. I now in control on how much fluids that could be taken from my body unlike before where I am only depending on the nurse's judgement which already had caused me years of misery with my breathing because they do not want to adjust my weight down to a level that I wanted.
Well I couldn't blame my nurses because of my history of a plunging blood pressure so I think they are just afraid of that scenario since they have tried to do so before. But now that I had found a way to stabilize my BP effectively without my BP crashing like a meteor I am now happy with the result plus I am able to at least ask for a much faster blood pump that is allowing me to eat much better while hooked-up.
And of course who would want to live in pain? I am just battling this pain for many years now but at least I had made some progress to shave some of the lingering pain that I had experienced before but now my feet just made me almost invalid and walking is now impossible because the just deteriorated over time. At first it was only the left foot joint is aching but now the right foot joint had joined the pain party so after bathing I would just hold the towel bar and shuffle my way to the door which is just a few feet away.
I am just glad that I was able to renovate my bathroom or else I would be in a very bad situation even if it doesn't rain because I could not lift anymore to flush the toilet that is older than most steemians around here. My father really has no plans in fixing the toilet so since I had some money I was able to improve it with a new toilet, shower, and tiles. It is just frustrating that they did changed the tiles but on the flooring only. So I got mad upon learning that because I really wanted to make that bathroom as pleasing as it can get but my parents are just so stingy considering that I was the one spending oft it.
But anyway at least right now we have a usable and disabled-friendly bathroom/toilet that I could use even if it rains hard and floods because I will not anymore go to my sister's bathroom and have a hard time in using it because of my current pain issues.
Lastly and not the least if God wills it is my hope or wish to get my appetite back like as before because of course I wanted to live like that of a normal person even though I have a hard time in chewing my food but with a good appetite I think it won't matter much as I have all the time in the world to eat and finish my food if all foods would get sweeter for my taste.
There are not much in this world that I am longing for, basically I just wanted to live into a near normal level of wellness. I already taken-out my dreams to do more in my life although my goals requires a lot of breaking barriers like financing and people that would not take a chance and giving up before trying it out. But of course God would have to bless my plans to make it all work so I just needed more prayers and kind thoughts to let my basic needs to be a reality.