I couldn't possibly eat a normal meal today so I just had an egg as a protein source and some bread for an added calorie so that I would not get so thin. I am already skin and bones for that matter and shedding off some more weight is really not good anymore.
In these times of the week where my dialysis session is already for tomorrow I no longer am having my appetite at its peak so every meal at these times is just like a chore to do unless a very delicious food that I liked comes to get served then I might be able to eat it but certainly not a lot anymore.
I am still praying that one day I will be able to get rid of taking Cinacalcet in my life so that my normal appetite should come back. I should have an excellent appetite already but due to this awful drug I can no longer enjoy food anymore.
But I remember even when I am eating normal amounts of food
back then I cannot even gain a pound of weight. Even the opposite happens so I had forgone really in planning to gain weight at that point.
But still I know that I do have to eat more and I have to enjoy food but I could not and maybe I will die like this all missing out in life and frustrated. But what is important for me is my pain issues not to get back in my life and go away for good and the compromise for that unfortunately is my sacrifice in not ever to enjoy my food anymore. But still I am hopeful to get it back, may God will bless my plans and who knows? The world is round at this point and anything still can happen particularly in my life.