I quite do not like the weather now, it is cool and nice for some people but certainly not for me though because it lessens my ability to perspire which is really important for me since I have a failed excretory system already and now with a cooler weather every bit of liquids that I ingest would be counted and thereby just expediting my body to get filled-up with fluids fast.
That factor is important to me because it directly affects my well-being if I would just be filled-up with fluids fast then it would result in the exacerbation of my difficulty in breathing since my nurses are cup by cup and milliliter by milliliter adding fluids to my body and reducing my capacity to hold more water. I am just glad that my lungs still holds despite of much fluids in my body already.
It makes me feel the fright and worries climbing up my spine knowing that what my nurses are doing would kill me if they add and add more water and adjusting my dry weight up so that I would not get the crashed blood pressure but making me feel bloated even after dialysis. It is hard to endure it and maybe I am just tolerating it because of my normal blood picture.
I hope that soon I will not be problemizing about this extra fluid in the body issues but instead living life as it should, to be almost free from what I am complaining about everyday, day in and day out and I am really fed-out and off with this kind of life which is getting ridiculous more as time passes by.
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.” - Revelation 21:4
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I just have to be brave and toughen up some more and hope that one day I will never look back at this kind of life that I had from the future when finally I will be with God in the heavens. Then heaven's pleasure would get magnified by then and I will just sing to God and praise him until eternity.
I am a spiritual person because I believe in the spiritual realm like in God, the Angels, and whatever the heavenly creatures contains plus also evil spirits that roam the earth which are in most people we meet everyday and maybe even in me I am reek with evil spirits which I am tryong to win over so that I could be worthy of the mercy of God if not the salvation from Christ Jesus so that at least in heaven I wpould have a better condition compared to this life of mine which is like hell without flames but pains.
