One of my nurses are just really unfriendly to me, she doesn't really tell jokes and all that. I could not feel much of a concern even though she says it. Well her vibe isn't right for me because as a human being I could feel it and what is bad was the other nurses get infect with such negative attitude and attributions so they are all like passing it on the next generation of nurses.
How Could I Tell?
Well I had been in that dialysis center for a long time already, maybe ten years more or less and during my first years of spending time there the nurses are really kind and I feel a bit at home even though I do not socialize a lot. The second generation was good too and so they just all went abroad to graze for "greener pastures" and no they are not cows even though some are really fat.
The fourth set of nurses just are friendly but are hard to talk to and bargain with but nonetheless are kind. But with these nurses that I have now I am just feeling uneasy and uncomfortable. It feels like at any moment they will just try to kill me "softly" or slowly for that matter because of what they had done lately which is adding more than a kilo of water in my already bloated body. I got alarmed by that which is why I already started to tell them directly what specific amount of fluid and the specific speed of blood pump they would set.
But I was welcomed with a threatening attitude, something that I myself would consider rude considering my already pitiful condition which is why when I would arrive to that dialysis center I feel unwelcomed and they actually had told me that before because they consider me to be just a potato, always ignored which is true. That is why the estranged feeling that I get and experience.
This situation is very bad because I go for my dialysis twice a week and I mingle with these people, and mixing with people who does not know you or even care for you is like being inside a snake den, one wrong move or gesture and trouble will come to you.
For me I can just root this issue about my appearance because I must admit it I am not really a desirable being so people that does not really know me personally would regard me as a low-life and second-rate person. I am just inherently a shy person so they think that I am not friendly. But because most people judges you by the way you look then with my current situation I could say that I am always the one being prejudiced. It is because of my real experience with it with lots of different kinds of people already.
So I am not so surprised that my nurses treats me rather "Differently" in a negative way. Well that is okay as long as I could achieve a better dialysis treatment from them and I just hope that they would set aside their professionalism with their personal negative qualities. I couldn't care less about them and would just hope that God would bless them with all their work, aspirations, ambitions, and dreams in life.
Too bad that I am under these kind of batch of nurses and I foresee that their negative qualities will again get passed-on to their next trainees and the cycle will begin again and the losers are the patients that are oblivious into what is going on or those that who are not looking. It is a sad thing that is happening even from the ones that should take care of you and you are entrusting your welfare and life from.