I am guessing that a paupers meal is way too much with the amount that I am eating everyday comparatively. It is because I am just eating two times each day and with every meal it is just a struggle to eat it because of my lack of appetite whether it is long-spaced apart or near each other I am always finding myself eating because I wanted to survive.
So there is no enjoyment factor with my meals whatsoever even if I would eat delicious foods I could not enjoy them as before. I have to blame my hyperparathyroid medicine, it is so vicious in making my life miserable in that regard. But I am eyes closed shut in taking it anyway because I do not want m facial bone to get worse than it is now and I am just glad that at least it reversed a bit the bone overgrowth in my face and the inside of my mouth.
It is to thank for with that Cinacalcet which I am taking everyday because it cured that lingering pain (or diminished only) which was the pain like no other because it lingers even when I am laid down on my back. But that drug is also notorious in not curing me completely. My doctor just prescribed me to take it thrice a day but if I do that then I can never eat again and will just intensify my nausea and the bitter taste that lingers in my mouth.
So I am still in pain especially when I move around and my back is in pain still if I am lying down but it is tolerable unlike in the past few months. But it is different when I am trying to walk most particularly when I am bathing myself where it is the factor that I am most active because of scrubbing and standing and sitting on my bathroom chair.
Then there is the factor of stiffness as well where my joints are not only painful but they are also like scissors with rust or a hastily cooked beef meat where your jaws would hurt because you are chewing for almost 35 minutes and the meat still feels like a rubber. So getting down to sit and getting up from the bathroom chair is not as easy as it sounds.
So I just have to medicate it with an appetite-busting medicine that I am nearly crying when I take it. The smell of gasoline is much sweeter than the pungent smell emanating from that drug. It just leads me to eating fruits after taking it in so that I could suppress the immediate effects of nausea and the bitter effects in my mouth while risking the potassium overload that the fruit brings me.
Now I just do not want to eat, it is like eating a cardboard when I eat meat or fish while I am just not preferring vegetables because for one thing I am fed-up with the kind of vegetables that my parents make and I also produce lots of gasses when I eat high fiber foods like vegetables and fruits.
It is just God's mercy and grace that I could tolerate my Cinacalcet because of my good hemoglobin levels. Had I been anemic like in the past years then I will be in trouble in eating, way much devastating than I am currently experiencing right now. I can never do without eating because I am taking medicines like NSAIDs like today because I am planning to use the bathroom later so I can move much freely although I regret in taking painkillers because of its serious side-effects in the gut like ulcerations and bleeding.
I hope soon that I could find an alternative for pain relief that is affordable and safe. Other alternatives they are suggesting like Cannabis is out of the table although I wanted to try it too for my appetite issue. But for now I ma waiting for my Vitamin D3 and K2 therapy to work. It is working if my pains would diminish and my skin complexion would improve and will not look like a dried-up rice field anymore. I trust God for what he can do and I pray to God to just bless my efforts to lift my condition into a much bearable level. May God have mercy on my body.
