"There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort" (Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte)
There is a story to this photo, a story that is worth more than a thousand words, a story that holds value for me greater than materialistic possessions. The story is one of friendship, spontaneity, love, generosity, compassion, romance, acceptance and connection. Akin to a quote by Jane Eyre (Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte): "I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered at a price I cannot afford to give". I can exist within this world independently and self-sufficiently, capable of drawing on my internal strength and resilience to provide meaning and purpose. My destiny is my own, my path is self-created and the moments of contentment and joy are generated from valued experiences, one's that come from love of nature, people and genuine connectedness. The motivation that drives me stems from a desire to create a meaningful difference in those around me and the world in which I exist. Jane Eyre holds a special place in my heart and is a book that I have returned to a multitude of times to seek consolation, comfort, escapism and hope: "I remembered that the world was wide and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had the courage to go forth into it's expanse to seek real knowledge of life amidst it's perils" (Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte).
From childhood to adulthood I sought acceptance and a sense of belonging; these experiences were foreign to me until I started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I was the child, adolescent, young adult that was referenced as a nerd. My escape was that of literature and the creative arts; encompassing, drama, poetry, dance, and art. My curiosity was piqued by mythology, ancient history and science. I fell in love with certain eras and periods of time like the Middle Ages, as well as the artistic and intellectual movement of Romanticism; a period from the late eighteenth century through the nineteenth century that prioritised emotion and imagination in retaliation to the excessive rationalism of the Enlightenment period. I day dreamed about romance, love, knights in shining armour, while outwardly communicating a logical, rational and analytical approach to the world around me; a world that often confused and shunned me. Hence, the unshakable identification with the character of Jane Eyre from Charlotte Bronte's book, Jane Eyre. There is more to my childhood that would give context to my identification to Jane Eyre, while that is a story for another time.
This story is about the nerd who was invited to a wedding in 2017 by a couple who I have come to love and cherish. I experienced angst about what I would wear, as I am the least fashion conscious and aware. My best friend, another female Brazilian Jiu Jitsu practitioner in recognition of my love of Star Wars offered to make me a dress for the wedding. The dress I wear in the photo is one that was lovingly created by my best friend. I attended a wedding in the most authentic and genuine version of myself - wearing clothing that communicated a single-minded love of Star Wars. To have a friend that spontaneously offered and willingly created an article of clothing in recognition of who I am was priceless. I attended the wedding single, surrounded by friends from jiu jitsu. I often am confused by the topic of conversations and the banter that occurs socially, while most of my training partners had come to accept this about me, as well as the often confused look that accompanies my observation of interactions that occur. The song for the first dance commenced, the married couple were centre stage, all eyes drawn to the joyous movement of the couple, as they celebrated their commitment to love and cherish each other. I wistfully watched as other couples gradually entered the dance floor and then......a friend was standing beside where I was seated, his hand outstretched as he asked me to accompany him on the dance floor. Genuine elation and gratitude burst within me, as my hand entered his and we sedately entered into a waltz; in all honesty, there was much clumsiness and clunkiness during the dance with much laughter and humour.
The photo for me, captures a moment in time, in which I felt transported into another era of the Romanticism movement, where emotion, imagination and artistic expression are communicated in the ambiance of the lighting, softness of the couples around me, and the capturing of connection in which a male friend without expectation was chivalrous, thoughtful and compassionate. The photo captures friendship, love and acceptance by a best friend who made me a dress from Star Wars material. The photo expresses to me that I can be accepted for who I am; that the genuine and authentic expression of self whether understood by others is OK. I am different; I will continue to be different and from that difference I see and experience the world uniquely - I would not want to change this. My mood lifts when I am outdoors surrounded by nature, the sun radiating on my skin, and when I immerse myself in the ocean, as well as when I single-mindedly pursue a topic until I understand the topic - so single mindedly that I almost appear absent minded, sometimes arrogant and maybe even rude (not intentionally). Moments create meaning for me; the passing smile of a stranger; the trust of a child who invites me to share in their curiousity in the world; the recollection of my coffee order by a Barista; the spontaneous touch of a friend; singing - in the rain, in the shower, loudly in the car and spontaneously in elation. Dancing freely and joyously irrespective of who is watching and where I am......
In the words of one of my favourite philosophers of the Romanticism period:
"TRUST THYSELF: EVERY HEART VIBRATES TO THAT IRON STRING", Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance.
My wish for you is that you remain true to thyself, authentic in your expression of self, genuine in action and compassionate in your communication. Please share a photo or a quote or a reflection that expresses you. Your engagement and connection with the content that I write is always welcomed and I will take the time to respond.
With compassion, warmth and authentic connection, I sign off.....D-Bumblebee
