Self Love is a concept I’ve struggled with for a long time so I’ve decided to embrace it by committing to at least one thing a day that honors the importance of looking after, protecting & loving my spirit.
My expectations and judgements of myself have always been harsh and sometimes down right ridiculous but no matter how unrealistic they appear in hindsight, in the moment I have a dangerous ability to chastise, break down and ultimately sabotage myself for falling short of these imposed conditions that I have somehow convinced myself determine my value. Well, no more! I am going to be kind to myself, as kind as I am to those around me, why shouldn’t I extend the same love to myself?! Why do I forgive others their shortcomings without hesitation but find it incredibly difficult to offer myself the same understanding? I think it’s a problem many of us struggle with, being enough for ourselves, being at peace with who we are despite who we want to be. I don’t know if it’s something you ever truly resolve, I’m sure I will always want to be better than I am but my hope is to find a healthy medium where I can still push myself to be more without punishing myself for not being there yet. As they say, it’s not about the destination it’s about the journey and I intend to make my journey as peaceful and love filled as possible.
Although I’m not one of those “new Year, New you” people, I do believe that the new Year, full of hope and chances, offers a beautiful opportunity to start afresh, to make promises to yourself & to enjoy feeling as new and as full of potential as the cycle that has just begun.
Having said that, the problem with new year is that it doesn’t last very long. At some point you have to go back to life and then the real challenge of maintaining your new resolutions in tandem with reality comes into play. For me, that happened yesterday during a day of pre production for an upcoming shoot. Luckily it was just one day so I have time to work on the realizations it offered before next Sunday when I really go back to work. The short break I’ve had has given me some much needed perspective on this industry. As creative, interesting & profitable as it may be, the environment also makes it incredibly difficult to maintain any kind of healthy balance. Four hours of sleep a night, too many rollies, listening to people bitch all day, finding yourself joining in, eating too much and not having time to exercise, is not the recipe for a happy and healthy life. And that’s my main priority, so although yesterday was hard, I was grateful for the chance to dip my toe in the pool and come up with a game plan before I have to dive in. I’m not going to sacrifice my health, for anything, let alone a job.
Anyway, back to the point, the importance of which yesterday highlighted for me once more; Self Love!
Day 4:
- Acknowledging & communicating the anxiety I went to bed & woke up with, in doing so making myself heard & offering myself gentle understanding.
- Not falling into the trap of taking things too seriously & putting myself under pressure. Reasonable effort, at a healthy pace, is good enough. I do not always have to do my best, I realize now that in most situations it is not necessary & can be reserved for when it is.
- Limiting the snacking to healthy items. I have long standing food issues dating back to an eating disorder in high school and as silly as it may sound to some, my weight and my control of my diet have a direct influence on my happiness & confidence & are therefore important to keep in check.
- Leaving on time. I’m not very good at speaking up for myself, I always feel awkward & guilty for no reason but knowing I had to go to dinner with two of my oldest friends I finished what I had to do, spoke up and said goodbye!
- Although I was tired & anxious I went for dinner, pep talked myself the whole way there, remembered to hold my head up & put my shoulders back & had a good time!
Day 5:
- Despite the slight hangover I woke up with, I got up and rushed to make humus & crudités platters for a celebration of life for one of our oldest friends. Although this may not have been direct Self Love, I would have been disappointed in myself had I not, so I think it counts.
- Not letting yesterday’s food “failures” impact today.
- Swimming.
- Lying in the sun ☀️ (current)
- And lastly, writing. I love to write, I never feel clearer than I do when I put my thoughts on paper (well, mostly on a screen but you know what I mean!) and it is a true expression of who I am making it one of the best forms of Self Love for me.
