I was sitting in my room on Wednesday wondering why I find it so hard to stick to things for myself. When it comes to others I can push myself beyond the limits I thought I had, why then is it so hard when the only person benefiting is me?
This could be in regards to many things. It's like my will power evaporates unless it's being used for the good of someone else. Smoking less, eating healthily, doing more yoga and practising positive rituals are all things just for me, at least in the short term - anything that makes you a better person ultimately positively effects those arounds you too. But right now I am the one suffering the consequences of failing and standing to reap the rewards of succeeding.
It made me think of all the times in my life I've been strong and suddenly it hit me;
I. AM. A. WARRIOR!
I handled my father's diagnosis like a solider at 12 years old. I've moved across the world. I fought through 6 complicated and dangerous surgeries, I've survived tumours and infections and hospitals that did everything wrong. I've supported and protected my parents through it all, I never once cried "why me?" instead saying "because I can!" I chose to see it all as a blessing and made others believe it too. I've lost people and left people and been left by people but through it all, I'm a good person, a loyal person, a loving person. I'm a vegetarian, I'm a Steemian, I'm a human and I. AM. A. WARRIOR!
But I had forgotten. I feel so far from the girl lying in bed fighting for her life that I'd lost sight of just how strong she is and how much I still have to learn from her.
That girl can do anything. That girl is my hero. And that girl is back.
I believe we all have a warrior inside of us but sometimes they only come out when we can not survive without them, it's our job to hold on to the lessons and the strength and the resolve that they teach us even when they are not there fighting for us. Next time you're struggling look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I am a warrior." Because you are and if you keep saying it, eventually you will believe it and if believe it, you will be it.
I stuck to everything yesterday, with out batting an eyelid. Not just the things that I do for others but the things I do for myself too.
I did 2 lovely yoga practises, I ate broccoli for lunch and dinner, I smashed my to do list, I checked in with friends, I spent time with my parents, I went to a meeting with my dad and took him to the site and you know what, most importantly, I felt great, I could feel her again.
I have the benefit of having met my warrior. I've seen her rise up out of my chest and take over, I have no doubt that she's there. But please take my word for it, we all have one and you don't have to wait until your back is up against the ropes to meet them, all you have to do is ask, they're there waiting to help.
Love,
Daisy xx
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