“Sorry, I have a boyfriend”. Who hasn’t heard this sentence once in his life is probably not a real man. It is the most basic test a woman can give you at the beginning of a flirtatious conversation to either tell you that she is not interested or unsure about you. Taking the later she is usually interested in seeing how you can handle it i.e. are you the real deal? In the other case, let’s face it, there is simply a certain percentage of women in the world that are just not into you. Accept it, embrace it and love it.
Knowing this I was stunned to hear one of my friends claiming the other day on a night out that he has never heard this excuse nor has he been rejected by women. Bullshit! I myself have been going on 1-2 new dates a week over the past 5 years simply because I love women (and relationships are just not for me as I discovered). I love the thrill of meeting someone new, the Spiel surrounding it, the sex, and the drama. Overall, I would say that my reference experience are broadly seeded and I have to say rejection is part of the game. Furthermore, those past couple of years have taught me a lot of about male-female interaction and the underlying polarity of it. If I had to summarize my experience in one sentence, I would say the girl is your mirror.
Nevertheless, my friend’s comment kept me puzzled and while I was digging deeper into his history of dating, besides his long-term relationship, which I already knew about and which had just ended, I found that he had little experience with women. In fact, in almost all cases he has met women via social circle or work which provides a save surrounding. In the end, it turned out that his whole success depended on the women choosing him. Sure that explains his view but he did not know the brutal truth about approaching women in clubs, on the street, the super market, etc. He did not know about the gamble a man has to take. He was the one playing it safe – fixating himself on one woman. The occasional last minute Tinder date flakes he got by women à la “Sorry, I am so tired today. Work was just so busy. I hope you are not mad” were taken literal and the rejection was interpreted as a legitimate excuse not realizing the actual underlying message you are not good enough. I felt that his view on male female interaction is so skewed that I had to looked back in my past and reflect on my dating experiences up to now. And I realized, I had been there. I had been there, denying the rejections, finding ridiculous reasons for the failures – blaming it on the other sex. However, this is wrong. Men lead and women follow. It is up to you as a man to orchestrate the journey for the both of you and bring it to a success.
My journey to enlightenment of what women really desire in a man will be the core of this blog. It will be entertaining at times but I really want to share with you what it means to actively go out – not just on weekend nights, but during the week in broad daylight and approach women. I want you to understand and learn from my failures, feel the pain and celebrate the successes of approaches, dates, and everything in between. The purpose will be to pass on my knowledge and wisdom to you, to explore the elusive “logic” of the female mind. I also want to use this blog to start discussions and to get to know if you have been through the same. I know you will hate me for my brutal honesty, especially the ones of you who have watched too many Disney romance movies as a child or still believe in chivalry and try to translate this behavior into today’s world to get the women to like you. Hint: Women tend to like the bad boys and the assholes. Being nice will get you nowhere. It was more than a rocky path to get where I am today but now I am free, I have an abundance of women in my life and I am choosing which one I want to see. I know that you will judge me because I have chosen the life of a lover who is dating multiple women at the same time but I will embrace it, as this is my reality over the past 5 years.
- Cheeky Fox
In the next post, I will describe the first feeble attempts and the first horrendous interactions with women I had during my teenage years which made me realize “I need to get better at this”. There was in fact, one decisive moment, a trauma which still haunts me today and which marked the beginning of my journey. Until then Happy Gaming.