Problems
We have all kinds of problems in America. But I believe the biggest problem facing the country today is not civil discourse on social media, Russian meddling in elections or the Bachelor on ABC. The biggest problem facing America today is STUPIDITY.
Not individual stupidity like people who are running to beat the train, they make it across then jump back on the tracks to flip the train off and get killed! That is individual stupidity. Natural selection will weed out that kind of stupid.
The most dangerous kind of stupid is organized. Let's call it Organized Stupidity. This phenomenon often happens when a group of people get together to form a committee.
Organized Stupidity often happens when well meaning people form a committee.
Committees are usually formed to solve a problem. Unfortunately, committee members often have hidden agendas, don't work well together, or forget to take their meds that day. The committees themselves end up making the problems worse before they get any better. The more powerful the committee, the more they will screw things up. You’ve seen this in action. You just know it as the government.
The Florida house voted to decline discussion on an assault weapons ban in favor of debate on whether pornography is dangerous to public safety.
Students vs The NRA
On Tuesday of this week, government stupidity was on full display in Tallahassee Florida. The Florida State house opened the session with a prayer for the 17 students killed in school, then with no sense of irony, promptly voted not to even discuss a bill to ban assault weapons. Instead, they voted to debate if pornography is dangerous to public safety.
So, a money shot might be dangerous to society; but gun shots? No problem. Apparently an assault weapons ban is like a remake of the Brady Bunch, not even worth discussing.
| Money Shot | Gun Shot |
|---|---|
 |  |
To be more absurd Florida lawmakers would have to show up in chicken suits.
I've Been to this Party Before or Bring in the Clowns
Now comes the silliness. After much hand wringing and choir singing, we will hear a back and forth debate about gun laws, mental heath and the second amendment. It will go something like this:
Gun laws wouldn't have stopped this tragedy. We need to focus on mental health.
-Other countries have the same level of mental health issues, but only we have mass shooting after mass shooting.
Guns are protected by the second amendment.
-But that was 241 years ago when the British were coming! The second amendment was written to maintain a "well regulated militia." Not so Johnny go-fuck-up can shoot up a school, or a nightclub or anything else for that matter.
Law abiding citizens should be able to own a gun for sport shooting and hunting.
-If you need 600 rounds per minute to kill a deer maybe hunting ain't your goddamn sport!
And so on and so on...
Then the gun advocates will put together an argument about self defense that sounds reasonable. Lifetime criminals will state in TV interviews how they avoided homes where the occupants might be armed. There will be a rush to buy more guns before the coming ban. And then congress will go silent. The people will forget. Trump will say something stupid and we will all become distracted by the online backlash when SZA doesn't win a Grammy.
SZA didn't win a grammy and other bullshit distractions.
Real Shit
The second amendment was important at one time. Now it is being used to help enable a weapons industry worth billions. And some of that gun money finds its way into the pockets of politicians and political groups. Combine that with how much we love violence. And we do love violence.
Once while playing Grand Theft Auto, I was having such a great time, shooting pimps and banging hookers, I got a hard on.
In America we love tough guys with guns, from Clint Eastwood to Queen Latifah. Firearms make us feel powerful and strong, even sexy. Back in the day, I would play Grand Theft Auto all night long. The raw violence and complete freedom to commit crimes and make money was fun and intoxicating (not to mention I would also be intoxicated). One night I was having such a great time, shooting pimps and banging hookers, I got a hard on. It scared me so bad, I quit playing. True story.
The Kids Are Alright
Students and supporters rally against gun violence on the steps of the Florida State Capitol in Tallahassee - Mark Wallheiser / AP
I was all set to post this article with a "nothing will be done ending". But the students in Florida and around the country inspired us all. I was all set to say that I have been to this party many times before. That I have real doubts that anything of significance will happen in Congress. But, Trump did throw in bump stocks, wait that was from the last tragedy a few months ago. Can he do that? Well better late than Nader, uh I mean never.
And then this announcement: The pro gun Florida legislature is nearing a deal for gun legislation. Baby steps, maybe. But a victory none the less. And none of this would be happening without the voices of teenagers. I salute you all.
Now, can you just pull up your pants?