For years, I’ve traveled the world speaking about identity, and your home, like your clothing, is an extension of your identity.
In other words, the way your home is set up says something about you. The instant we see something our mind goes to work and we start making judgments. Knowing that, the goal for this post is to help create an environment that helps you express yourself and that generates conversation.
Every room should have a story
With a few small tweaks you can turn your home into a more interesting place than it was before; the kind of place that is teeming with conversational threads just waiting to be pulled.
Even the smallest space can be made into something that is both unique and expressive of who you are. When you have guests over, they’ll be walking around checking things out. The more conversations your home can inspire, the more interesting, and memorable the experience.
The aspects of your home that are conversation pieces don’t have to be expensive. You can find instructions all over the internet on how to build various items in your home. If you’re not much of a craftsperson you can easily find someone who is - check out etsy for some really interesting stuff.
If you have multiple rooms in your home, then each room should have something special about it and, when possible, something interactive.
The goal is to create an atmosphere where everything has a story; a place where everything in your home has purpose.
You can read more on the art of storytelling here:
How to Become a Great Conversational Storyteller
How to Improve Your Conversational Storytelling
Here are a few ideas:
A Piece of Art
You should have a story for every piece of art in your home. If it’s on your wall or on a shelf you should know why and be able to talk about it.
A party I once attended had a massive angel made from an old piano hanging from the ceiling, the only non-piano piece was a mannequins head that was lit from inside, shining a halo onto the ceiling. The story about how the host ended up with the stunning piece of art, had the whole party captivated.
Of course, you don’t have to have something that massive or rare to create conversation. We have a Steampunk piece from Brian Kesinger in our living room that goes along with our steampunk theme. It’s nicely framed and placed, and we always end up getting questions about it from guests who are new to the apartment.
A Theme
Themes can express quite a bit about the person who lives in the home.
As I’d previously mentioned, my apartment has a steampunk aesthetic to it. It’s only a one bedroom apartment, but each bookshelf and light in the room has a purpose and was hand made from cheap materials. They never fail to generate conversation.
Temporary Themes for Holidays
Halloween is coming up, try to do something more original than just pumpkins, bats and cobwebs. A few years ago I attended a halloween party that had a purposeful cult feel. It served absinthe and even had a fully costumed fake sacrifice to satan during the event. The party felt like it had a story going on, because it did. You didn’t want to leave because you wanted to know what would happen next.
What was most impressive was the detail they took creating a high-class occult atmosphere. Black satin drapes, formalwear, candelabras, and dining ware that screamed rich and evil. Here's a picture from the party:
A Bar/Drink Area
Bars are another great area where people can interact. The key to making the bar area more interesting: Choose every liquor you have by hand, know why you have it, and know how to make a drink from each choice. It never fails to impress guests when you can make a great cocktail. For those who don’t drink -- check out the Tim-Tam Slam.
Conscious Lighting Choices
Lighting alters the feeling of every room, choose the right lighting for your space. Lighting, of course, is in itself an artform, but there are plenty of online sources to help you out.
To get an idea of how dramatically lighting can change the feel of a room check out this video:
Games
I’ve seen people who’ve had VR game systems, arcade machines, and simple, but creative to old school tabletop rooms. Simple games like mafia, or many of its iterations, can also bring a party together - plus, they’re cheap.
One friend had an old arcade game hidden under his stairs, another has a six-player arcade game in his home. The games are great because they allow strangers to interact, but none of the games are long enough to be anything more than a short activity.
Another, friend invited me to a game night at a home that had an octagonal library full of board games, fantasy books, and RPG’s -- in the center was a hand made Hand of Vecna in a glass case. We were all excited to find out it doubled as a game room. It gave the whole game night and entirely different feel.
A Fireplace
It’s human to want to sit around a fire and talk, but I’ve yet to attend a gathering with a lit fireplace, where people weren’t standing or sitting nearby.
No Television in the Living Room
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve been given about setting up my place for socializing is to get the TV out of the living room.
It’s too easy to turn a TV on to distract you and your guests from speaking. You want conversation to happen that comes from the interactions of the people, not something generated from the television.
If the only place you have for a television is the living room, try putting it in a cabinet, or covering it up when guests come over. If that’s not possible, then just remember not to turn it on.
Allergy Control
If you have pets that shed, clean the couches and floors or hire someone to clean before you invite people over.
There’s nothing that makes someone not want to return to a home than hair all over their clothes and the memory of spending a few hours sneezing and itching from allergies.
Also, it’s important to understand that many pet owners don’t know that their houses smell like pets. In houses that are cleaned regularly, this isn’t as much a problem, but remember you may not smell the animals, but your non-pet owning guests likely do.
Unique Snacks
At my home we always have a great coffee, a selection of teas, some fruits, and some cheeses for guests. We can put together a delicious plate of snacks for everyone that comes by to share. The caffeine in tea and coffee generally makes people chatty, and food in the center of a table provides a great gathering area. Like the drinks, the teas, coffees and snacks are chosen for a particular reason.
Again, the goal is to create a space that inspires conversation, where nothing is without purpose, and everything has a story.
Source: Victorian Decorative Arts, Brian Kesinger
Please share your thoughts in the comments!
I write, I teach, I tell stories. Read my intro post.