These days I've been really tired either worrying about the future or stressing out on little things at the present moment. I have been told to live in the now or not to worry too much. But I forgot how important it is to also look back and learn from the past. To appreciate the things that I've already accomplished in life. To be mindful of where I've been and how far I've come.
You could say that I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I always want things to be exactly as I want. I focus too much on the details and making everything perfect. The bad side is that I get stressed out easily when things don't go my way. I start regretting, feeling sorry for myself or being angry at someone else.
Whenever I feel bad, I try to look at my life and realize everything that I've already done. Then I begin telling myself "Wow, I've done all these things and I have been living a life I've always wanted. I realized that I sometimes get too caught up in my big dreams, like working on my venture and trying to be financially independent. I still think that I'm not yet where I want to be. I still have a long way to go. But sometimes I just want to pause for a moment and appreciate what this life has already given me. And to be grateful for the things that I already have.
I haven't accomplished such grand things in life but I have done amazing things in my own way. I have traveled and lived in other countries for the past 4 years. I have tried new things and went on a lot of adventures. My journey also gave me a business opportunity idea. My travel experiences taught me to have courage and persistence. I'm grateful that the universe has not forsaken me until now and that there's always something in store for me no matter what. I'm happy that I have survived living off writing and not having to go back to a 9-5 corporate job. I'm thankful that I'm still alive and living my life to the fullest.
Past is like a foreign country and it is sometimes best to just leave and move on. It can be weird to go back there just to find something that I can be proud of, but I guess there's really nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it is better to have a deep check with myself and look at how life has treated me.
I tend to get caught up in planning for the future or worrying about the things that make me tick at the moment. I overthink all the time. What about this time I appreciate my own journey? My own resilience. The things that I have gone through in life. How about if I look at the places I have been, the relationships that I've formed and things that I have already achieved? No more what ifs, only "Wow, I did that?". No more regrets just gratefulness. Obstacles, failures, milestones, and mistakes - everything is important for my own personal growth.
Even though I'm no longer traveling at the moment, I'm happy to be living in my comfort zone and freely doing things. Sure, it might take another long process to achieve my life goals but I should never forget that the journey matters, not just the destination. It's what I learn along the way. It's beautiful to focus on the present or see beyond the moment but I've learned that it is also important to look back and see how far I've come. And to live a life full of appreciation.