There seems to be no 'right way' when it comes to dealing with street harassment. I apologize if I am writing about this topic again. Street harassment is just kind of a daily experience for me, and for many other women out there too. I just have to get this off my chest. Street harassment can be a catcall, a whistle, or worse, gross gestures, sexual words, and sneers. And it does not matter which side of the world, it happens everywhere now.
I learned that the country is now passing a law about street harassment. It's just being implemented in big cities, so here in the countryside, some men are still oblivious to their animalistic behavior and innate savagery. Don't get me wrong, a lot of rude people can be from the city and the ruralites can be more respectful to women. But when it comes to power, it really does not matter. Some people really feel this intense rush and fulfillment when they are able to exert their authority over the helpless and weak.
I'm sure some of you have seen this video about this lady who was struck in the face by a man she told to stop harassing her at a coffee shop in Paris. When I was watching this video, I was like damn, this could happen to me too because I fight back. I can't remember how many times I got off my bicycle or approached a man to call him out on his behavior. Some men were shocked because they were used to just being ignored. Some just laughed at me and persisted. The most unforgettable incident was when I was walking on some beach in Ecuador and two guys on a motorbike started catcalling me. I said fuck off and of course, they liked the attention more, they turned around and did it again and again. Some men really like it when you give them your attention because negative attention is still attention. In the real world, nobody really notices these guys. This is their way to exert power and control over women who will never ever like them.
And oh please, can you stop telling me "this is not all men" like I've already made it clear on my posts when I indicated "some". Telling me this is like telling me something I already know like the earth is not flat. It's an insult to all of my male friends. So, stop all this defensive mode and assumption, I am here to vent my frustration and nothing more. And not to attack the male species or find out who to blame in this world, just saying.
Unfortunately, we are not in a free world, yet. We are far from being civilized. So for women who are experiencing the same problem every day, I am sharing some of my ways to deal with street harassment and how to stay safe.
Depending on where you are, it might be best to wear clothes that won't attract attention. I am not saying to wear a hijab or cover your whole face. If you are on the beach, then wear your beach clothes. If you are traveling in a conservative country, then you need to follow the customary rules. But I know clothes don't really matter, I've tried to cover up and it failed. Some guys will just be curious and find you even sexier with more clothes.
For safety, it's usually best to just ignore these men, because then, you avoid the possibility of being physically attacked. But in my case, most of the time I don't really ignore them. Every time I do something about it, like approach them or call them out, I feel like it's 1 less idiot in this world. Someone has to learn. And I noticed that the men here usually get shocked or stunned so they are less likely to repeat the behavior. But of course, my safety here is at stake. And anytime, they can choose to get even for shaming them.
One thing that really worked for me is to let them know indirectly that street harassment is now a crime. One time, when a group of guys was harassing me, I stopped in front of them and started dialing some number on my phone. I pretended that I was talking to the police. I was just asking if "street harassment" is now a crime and of course I made it look like it was a real police report call. The guys were like shocked and uneasy, and started assuming I was talking about them. Some were trying to deny it and of course, I ignored all of their reactions. It never happened again after that, I guess someone just has to school these guys.
You can wear earphones and listen to some nice music just so you can block the nasty world outside. This worked for me at some point but I realized that the problem just continues. Besides, it can be dangerous to walk, run or cycle on the road with both earphones in.
Take their pictures. It worked for me because the catcallers started feeling uneasy that I have their pictures. If you are brave enough, you can even say that you are going to give the pictures to the police. The idea is to shock them because for once in their life, someone is fighting back. I've done this multiple times but I understand that it can be dangerous for some.
This one is very unadvisable, I even came to a point in my life when I really had to threaten them physically like smash their faces or break their car window. Mind you, I didn't even have any martial arts or self-defense skills. I was just ready to fight. When I was in Cusco city, I was carrying my longboard or some big rocks all the time as I went down to the town. I had to look big, scary, and violent as I walked alone on the street from home to work. Street harassment was really worse there and I can't imagine myself living in that place again. The daily experience was anxiety-inducing, stressful, and damaging.
Please take some precautions when following my advice. In some countries, you might never know how men will react, like that woman in France, she called the guy out but he followed her and hit her in front of everyone. This video affected me because street harassment happens anywhere even in a supposedly developed and civilized city in the world. But thanks to her bravery, that video caught in the security camera has gone viral. Some things only worked for me because the behavior of men here is quite predictable. But still, I'm not immune to the danger of my actions and every day I am fighting a hard battle. Sometimes I think, it's really better to be feared than loved. No thanks, I don't need unwanted attention, not your love either, just give me peace.