Yesterday, as I was trying to block this man on my phone, I ended up accidentally answering one of his unwanted calls losing precious phone credits as a result. I didn't speak just to make it look like I am not hearing him or anything. Mind you, he has been persistent. Gawd, I just hate it when people call instead of texting. And if I don't answer these unknown numbers, they won't even have the nerve to at least introduce themselves through text. Anyway, I answered his call because my crappy phone does not have the ability to end a call. That sounds basic I know. The touch screen doesn't work anymore or at least just some certain parts of it. And then I realized, hell, I really need to buy a new phone.
Hell, I really need to look for a job.
The immediate need to buy a phone that actually works motivate me to go back to the workforce. I want a better phone though, one that I can use for taking pictures for my blog and website. I have to work for it and deserve it. So now, I am looking for a job in the middle of this global pandemic. I mean, what could be hard right?
I am willing to go through all that crap again, sure. But I figure that some change of scenery might be good for my overall health and mental well being too. Because change is good, right? And the thought of being able to quit anytime, should things get overly stressful and toxic, and people start being people again, just make it easier for me to accept the reality of work. At least for the meantime.
I'm gonna have to stop thinking that I need to stay in a job just to prove that there's nothing wrong with me. This time, I want to revel in the freedom of being able to quit anything anytime. And just focus on things that make me healthier and happier. I should be able to find some balance here.
I'll try and try.
Another good reason to look for a new job again is that Diablo (who is actually being annoying right now as I write this) my new kitty, needs a lot of treatment to get well. And visiting the vet costs me a lot of money. How I wish there's like free healthcare for cats but that just doesn't make sense for most people in this region.
I can afford my basic needs right now alright but how I wish I can just relax with a bottle of wine or two. Just occasionally y'know. No job, no alcohol for me. That's just my self-imposed discipline. On the other hand, I feel like not having a job is probably good for me too, because then I won't indulge or drown my sorrow in alcohol.
As I get older, it's funny how I get more and more excited about buying house stuff than clothes or other personal things. I don't know, there's nothing like making my place a bit more comfortable and more livable. I feel like having those little things, actual necessary things would liven up my space. And of course, I need a job for that, or money rather. For that much-needed comfort and convenience.
I just think that the security of having a job would remove all the guilt of spending and needing things. I know I can just live with whatever I have right now or as usual, live off Hive and cryptos. But that's just not enough I think. Nothing will ever be enough for me. I always have this intense need to break the pattern and have a constant change in my life to stay alive. That is just Me.
So here I am, back to the reality of job hunting.
previously, previously, previously,