The wake doesn’t drive the boat. True or not true?
I first heard this phrase from Wayne Dyer, and he said that he had heard it from Alan Watts. I’ve read and listened to both Dyer and Watts for years and have learned much from their spiritual wisdom and insights.
The phrase offers an interesting analogy. You picture a boat gliding across the surface of a sea or lake and you see the wake that it leaves behind. In no way does this wake affect the steering of the boat. The analogy is that what has gone before in your life, i.e. what is in your past has no effect on your current ability to steer the direction of your own life.
Many people feel that because some terrible event happened to them in their lives it means that they are somehow hindered and cannot achieve what they truly desire. In other words, what has happened in the past (the wake) has a true impact on the direction they are taking in their lives. So the past perceived negative event is used as an excuse as to why they are not where they want to be in their life.
But the wake doesn’t drive the boat, right?
I’ve thought and thought about this as applied it to my own life. I went through some pretty awful stuff as a child and a teenager, growing up with an abusive, alcoholic father. There was constant fear and numerous traumatic incidents.
I went through much of my teens, twenties and early thirties under a cloud of depression. Then I began to study personal development material. And through this I learned how to control my thoughts and emotions so that I was no longer at their mercy.
For years I had let the wake drive the boat, so to speak.
So in fact, the wake does drive the boat – if we let it. This made sense to me as I studied the work of authors like Dyer, Watts, Bob Proctor, Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Eckhart Tolle, etc., etc.
Once we understand where our beliefs and values come from, how they are formed, how our thoughts control our emotions, and how this in turn dictates our actions, or lack thereof, we take the helm. We drive the boat, and the wake truly has no effect.
But then I thought more about it.
What has happened to us in the past is an essential, integral part of who we are. Our beliefs and values are part of those experiences. They shape us, make us who we are, control what we’re willing to do and what we’re not willing to do, what we see in life and what we miss.
Had I not had the painfully difficult past that I had in my youth, I would never have sought the help offered in personal development material. I would never have learned how I could change my life for the better without drugs or psychotherapy. And I would never have decided to begin helping other people do the same.
The wake doesn’t drive the boat.
It’s a nice analogy, but it’s not entirely appropriate when considering people’s lives.
The lesson?
Don't take anything you read or hear at face value. You have an ability for critical thinking. Use it.