The past week has been a bit of a whirlwind, I haven't had time to truly process my dad's loss...blech, phrases like that one irritate me, let me try again...
It's not quite real to me that my dad is actually gone. Everyone keeps saying things like 'closure' and 'went peacefully' and 'in a better place', and all I can think is just a moment ago he was calling me 'easy teasy' (his way of picking on me for falling for one of his many ways to rib me) or asking me what my steemit account was worth that day, which was his new favorite question.
Death is such a strange thing. It's inevitable, yet we always seem to be caught unaware by it, even in cases like my dad with his many health and physical issues. I suppose it's just that we're never ready to lose someone we love, no matter how 'prepared' we try to be. Something about them being gone from this world, never to be heard from again while we're here...it feels unnatural.
Maybe because it is. I do believe that this physical realm is temporary, that we're only visiting. And I think where ever it is we really come from does not have constructs such as time or death.
I wrote the above last night when I decided to go back to my house for a bit. My extended family left this morning, and right now my brother is with mom taking care of some things. While he's still here, I'm taking the time to do what I haven't been able to. Grieve, then let go, so I can be strong for the woman who just lost the man she's been with for fifty years. Help her learn to live without him, remind her, and myself, that he wouldn't want us to remain in a state of mourning, he would want us to celebrate the life he had and live our own lives to the fullest. With joy, and love, humor and adventure.
I'm saying goodbye. But I know
This is not the end.
A song my brother originally wrote for a dear friend shortly after she passed from her long battle with Cystic Fibrosis. When he was trying to decide which songs to play at dad's funeral he realized that many of the lyrics fit him as well.
"Missing You"
"And I know,
you're suffering's done.
And I know,
that time goes on.
And I know,
I must too.
Although,
I'm missing you."
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