You know living in a state of stress, that whole I do not know what comes next type of life. That faith filled abandon to higher loftier callings and fulfilling dreams. I find myself not only in a state of fear, but underlying or I should say meandering through and overtaking is that sense of wild abandoned adventurous joy. In facing each unknown and somehow finding an answer and going from one to the next of living an out of the ordinary life.
There is a thrilling victorious holy fuck I did it! A sense of accomplishment I in a job never experienced in this way. It is one thing to feel accomplished, it is wholly another level to leave a world of comfort and knowns and yet manage to live life just as anyone tied more deeply to a structured course, and I dare say boring ass life.
In all the challenges I have faced growing up, and in those I face immediately now, threatening to topple my very existence. To destroy and obliterate my very being embodied thus. I find I am resolute in my decision of what I prefer versus what I do not. There is a very strong will that maintains my rudder even through such storms. I may hurt, but unless my body dies I continue to strive for what I believe in, no matter anyone else, or the rules of man's law and the inability of others to think or to feel a genuine sense of hope or determined knowing about the possibilities in life.
A wonderful notion fills my being at this time, even if I were to die walking my current path, I do so knowing I follow my integrity and not my fear. There is a strength in this I am loving, an intensity sparkling my eyes. That inner self driving me onward. The experimenting with methods of how to accomplish what so many would deem as having only one set course. Divulging a number of courses. In meeting others of similar disposition sharing that knowledge earned by the experience, yes I fucking earned these experiences! That is a celebration!
I celebrate, I claim all my trials and tribulations, my success stories, my failure stories. It feels good to be in this moment with food, shelter, connection to friends or whom I simply call human family. I am more and more as a result just being in this moment and thinking wow I have it all, and as for tomorrow? That isn't now.
So I say unto you the reader, be brave, face your fears, push your boundaries, and live that life full of unknowns becoming knowns. There is a sense of awe, wonder, joy, ecstatic motion in the notion of free willed locomotion. Blessed be.
