Hello #Steemians! My bad for the extended absences of content, word wise!
Having a new baby will do that to ya ;D
So-
I got told today that "I have a tendency to gloat." from an old friend and its got me thinking of all the things I've actually accomplished as a father and freelance artist in his mid 20's who's also been dealt a pretty shitty hand of cards.
We'll start with some of the things art has done for me.
| drt arts |
I didn't always take art terribly serious though Ive always done it ever since I can remember and enjoyed it. Dealing with some of the issues explained down below drove me to seeking a sense of mindfulness and self understanding. I have anxiety and depression due to the parental alienation I deal with so I needed to find something that just grounded me and got my brain thinking about my next brush stroke or pencil line rather than my next custody court date or just the situation in general. I began drawing daily about 2.5-3 years ago and that transitioned into acrylic painting daily. After a few months of daily art I sold one of my paintings for $65 and I was blown away.. Did I just trade a few hours of my time doing something I enjoyed for more money than I'd make doing something I didn't enjoy? The little entrepreneurial gears that existed in my shoveling snow as a kid and Video game flipping on Craigslist started turning and I started painting on all my free time.. Eventually I sold another.. And another.. Put a few in up at Legacy a local glass and art shop, sold both of those. Eventually I had like 15-20 paintings sold and I set my sights on doing Album Artwork and getting even closer to the music scene. On my laptop I used to make a lot of music using Fruity Loops and Logic Pro X and just sharing and networking on #Soundcloud it introduced me to a lot of local musicians and other artists and basically like this whole artist economy where people are needing artwork or logos or custom "this", custom "that". So, along side selling my paintings I was doing work for local Hip Hop artists and getting contacted by smaller #YouTube channels for custom work done. At the time of this post I have sold just under 100 pieces of art..
('F.U.R.Y' A hand drawn album cover I did for a friend and local musician. I also did the back side and all the fonts and editing)
('Home')(Colored Pencils // Digital)(Dated : 1-13-16)
Growing up I didn't have a real solid support system parent-wise and cause of that I suffered in school. I was put on an IEP (Individual Education Plan) pretty early on in school cause of my inability to concentrate and getting in trouble for drawing on everything, including my text books.. Oops! Then the slacking off in school gradually shifted to behavior problems and acting out because as a kid, what else do we do but seek attention even if its good or bad? Now add all this to a constant mix of moving schools and neighborhoods and leaving groups of friends to become the 'New Kid' again.. In total, including the online schools I attended I went to 11 different schools between K-12. I just had had enough of school by the time 18 years of age rolled around I was registered for my GED an passed it with above average scores and went off to give college a shot. I went for 2 semesters but life's complications crept back in.
I didn't have the best role models to replicate for my relationships so by the time I was 20 I had 2 children. One at 17(Son), and one at 20(Daughter) and unfortunately they were not with the same woman. At 18 years old and my first round of child custody court with my first born's mother, I experienced what most men in their 30's and 40's going through a divorce have to experience. Being treated as a second class parent.. Sadly a father in the family courts eyes are basically viewed as a babysitter and an ATM unless that other parent is a druggie or was proved to be neglectful. My daughters mother and I also didn't have the best relationship and that ended in late 2014 but realistically we never were serious or honest with each other. I've been battling the her in family courts for over 3 years now just to get more than a few hours (@ $38.00/Hour) a month at a visitation center. Sadly and unfortunately, the mother of my daughter just does everything in her power to keep the Parental Alienation up..
Thankfully in the present day me and my sons mom co-parent and get along now finally after tons of years of both of us being straight up asses to the other. We both settled on one major agreement.. OUR CHILDREN COME FIRST.
I had gotten into a serious relationship mid 2015 with someone who I considered my best friend and from there my world changed. She had showed me a light I though had burned out in my dark world. She was by my side though all of the anxiety and stress filled moments of going through these biased courts fighting for my daughter. She helped light the fire under my ass and gave me the opportunity to explore who I was. We had something none of my other relationships really had, trust. In mid February of 2018 we welcomed a baby girl to the world and being able to experience what I've been robbed of already twice is amazing and not something I wanna loose out on. I've gone through all this BS while avoiding alcohol abuse (Major family history of it). Never smoking a cigarette (Whole entire family and a majority of friends smoked) along with avoiding substance abuse (Drug abuse and overdosing was common in my area and some family also had drug issues) along with just battling my own mental health..
I know this post is kind of all over the place I apologize lol (Will do some adding to and revising after some more coffee lol!
Anyways! I think the point of this post is if you've done things you before thought and or even have been told you that you couldn't, be proud.. Actually be damn proud and just smile back at those who doubt you.
“People’s perceptions of others are always filtered through their own issues.”
For those who always seem to make it rain on their own parades the cry about it, take some pointers from the dude Gary V..
Once I learned this I knew I had to care about myself more than I currently was to get what I needed and wanted out of life.
I hope every one of you has an amazing day and takes advantage of the limited time we have on this planet!
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