Different children have different character or traits and you must be sensitive to that either as a parent. “You can make great strides in helping your child to be a person of character, or you can also miss its importance and see its effects in painful ways later in life. Better the first than the second. As the Bible teaches, make the most of your opportunities because the days are evil.
As you develop each child of yours, you must pay attention to different aspects of their character. No matter what age the child is, there is certainly the character development which grows in him/her into maturity. Think about the character to form relationships or what you call attachment in a child;Children need to learn to need, trust, depend and have empathy for others.
When she is hurt by any object, or she fell down, your comfort helps her to experience and learn the value of reaching out.
In fact, his or her attachment to God and others becomes the source of all good things in him/her. Then you talk about the character of responsibility.
You have to help the child to take ownership of his/ her life and not all the time thinking that his or her life is the problem of the children. Taking responsibility over her choices and actions, she gradually experiences freedom and self-control.
You must be able to develop the character of reality in the child and not always talking about utopic ideas.
For example, a three year old child is working on understanding that people who gratify him/her are the same ones who frustrate him/her.
The child needs to discover the reality that the world isn’t divided into good people and bad people, but is full of people who are both good and bad. When the child is thirteen however, he or she will struggle with his/her own overconfidence in his or her abilities versus his or her constant failure in leaning how to relate to his parents and the opposite sex. The child must be led to accept the negatives of the real world. He or she will be disappointed in his or her friends, brothers, sisters and even her parents and in fact, she will let others down too.
It is your duty and responsibility to assist that child in dealing with sin, loss, failure, and evil not only in him/ herself but also in others. You have to assist him/her to have right development of commiseration character, an internal sense of right and wrong.
All the same you must not be ignorant of the fact that children are prune to certain character as they grow into maturity. Take for instance, a child between the age five and twelve is pruned to stealing. In as much as it is the reality of the developmental stages of child growth, it is your duty to make the child see the evil in it in order not to become the child’s habit. A child between the age thirteen and Seventeen is pruned to be homosexual or to masturbate depending on the environmental influence, if noticed,it is your duty as parents to inculcate healthy sex education in your children so that they know the real value of their sexuality and how to direct, control or manage it.
This is where your guidance in what they read in books, novels and magazines and what they watch on TV and movie; comes in.
Certain tasks foster character development in spiritual growth. For example, children need to learn to seek God on their own, apart from their parents; learning to pray when they wake from sleep and when they go to bed; praying before and after meal and ability to say “Thank you Jesus” in every situation.
Another important character development in a child is in the area of competence. Children need training to develop their God-given talents and gifts. Special attention is needed here to know the area of interest of every child and never to discourage the child. This is one area where parents have to be careful in making decision for their children.
If the child has the ability of become a great artist, the parents need not discourage the child because what they what of him/ her is to become a medical doctor. There is much more to what one does for the living than money and prestige. The greatest things one must get out of what he or she docs are happiness, fulfilment and commitment.
Do not discourage the child in this area rather do all you can to develop that character trait in the child and then try to create in him/her other values or carrier you desire. But always remember that you have to leave the child to decide on what he or she wants except in a situation where it is vice-centered or evil oriented. In the same vein, you must know that your children need to develop their skill not only in special areas such as art, sports, or science, but also in everyday matters such as decision making, judgment and work ethics.
You will need to develop awareness for your children in these areas. You need to monitor where they are in their relational abilities, sense of responsibility and their ability to deal with loss.