Hi Lexi
Hope you're feeling better today... "Sorry for the long tangent coming"
Reading through what you put here, the past is a buggar for resurfacing at times, just a shame memory triggers can't be switched off, well the negative side. With certain event's the trouble is lads will be lads, some though have a sense of right and wrong, and won't push boundaries, they'd even make sure you're safe 🙂 Worse part with bad memories , it's the negativity itself it sucks to us all like a sponge to water, and trying to rid it takes a very longtime. Life itself is meant to be of balance so you feel content, and when too much happiness occurs, the opposite creeps in..
What you endured & the mental torture it maybe doing is your mind seeking closure now, because maybe timeframe/events were missing... Which is why the past is showing it's face again...
You'll be alright. keep your chin up 😊