Snippets from July 11th, 2009 (newborn)
Well, my beautiful little boy is fast asleep in the stroller next to me so I’m using whatever time I have to use both my hands to write you an email. I tell you, watching him sleep is certainly entertaining. He is like a little actor trying out various facial expressions for some TV role. He is also quite noisy – he even cries in his sleep or just whimpers and then suddenly sighs or laughs. The only time it’s not funny is when the poor little tyke has a wind and then he really cries and you can tell he is in pain by the cry and the way his whole body contorts. I went online to find out how to deal with it and so far I am just using massage and this technique of moving his legs in a circle and then bringing his knees up close to his chest. Often as I do that he’ll let out this terrific fart and then I can’t help laughing. I checked out the bottle of colic remedy you sent me and it’s suitable for infants, but you only need 2 drops so after work today Greg will go to the pharmacy and pick up a dropper and a syringe so I can squirt it into his mouth. I hope it helps because I really hate knowing he is in pain and that I can’t make it go away.
On the breastfeeding front, things are okay but not as great as they were. I think he is going through a growth spurt or something because he feeds for so long and so often. I don’t mind that, but he has gotten a little fussy and it takes him a while to settle into it now. At least my breasts are fine. Some people told me I’d get cracked, bleeding nipples or lots of pain in the beginning, but I really haven’t experienced that. Unfortunately, though, I am going to have to end up supplementing when I go back to work. Initially I thought that I’d be able to express enough, but I just can’t (even though I seem to have no problem with constant leaking. Grrr). It takes me about 3 or 4 pumping sessions to make 5 ounces which is usually only enough for one feed (and a little left over). It’s best to use the pump when you’re missing a feeding because then you’d get more, but I don’t miss a feeding unless we have to go out and then I can’t pump anyway. If you pump between feedings you only get half the amount and with him feeding so much, I’m in real danger of starting to feel like a dairy cow. Also, and this is actually the main reason – when I go back to work, because I’ll be part time, they’ll put all my classes one after the other which means I won’t exactly have time to head to the bathroom between them. There is a ten minute break between classes, but it’s hard to finish on time and then there’s all your stuff to collect for the next class and not to mention the fact that there is only one bathroom and there is always a waiting line outside. Sammy and Katy manage because they both work at the front desk so they just wait for a quiet period and then one stays behind to man the front desk and the other disappears for 20 minutes. The reality is that I just won’t be able to do that so I’m going to start it in August so that he can get used to getting a couple of bottles of formula per day. I’ll still breastfeed in the mornings, afternoons and after work at night, but it’s just for that period when I’ll be at work. Not sure what my hours will be like yet, but I’m hoping it’ll just be the evenings.
Actually, I got a call from Queenie yesterday begging me to work two Fridays in August. I said it was okay. It’s only for 2 hours from 7-9pm. The one is on a Friday when you’ll be here so at least I know I’ll have a babysitter for that day. The other is on August 28th and we should have a daycare by then so I hope he’ll be able to go there for those few hours. I know that in the beginning I thought that Greg could change his schedule around so that he could take care of Jay when I worked, but really it just isn’t practical and Greg really has so much on the go and so many projects to finish that I just don’t think it’s fair on him. We’ve looked into one that is quite good and has a qualified nurse on staff which I like, but there is this other one just down the road and it’s for 0-2’s and is called “Music Kindergarten”. I’m waiting for Annie to get back so she can go with me and ask them stuff in Chinese. I’m worried that if just Greg and I go they’ll get all freaked out and we’ll just end up playing charades with them without really finding anything out. If the one down the road is good, that would be perfect because then I could just walk there with the stroller, then walk back and take my scooter to work and do the same thing when I got back. Of course, I won’t just choose it for that reason. I want to have a good feeling about the place and feel I can trust them with such a tiny baby.
Back to the breast milk thing – I was so upset the other day. A while back I’d gone online to find English instructions for my breast pump and when I found them it also gave storage instructions for milk. It said 12 hours at room temperature, 8-14 days in the fridge and 3 months in the freezer. Instead of double checking, I just assumed they were correct. As I mentioned, it takes me quite a while to pump enough milk so I’d just pump a little, save it, and then add to it the next time I pumped. I managed to get 200ml in total which I thought was rather impressive. I wanted to use it for a day next week when I want to go out and organise the cakes for Jay’s one month celebration thing (it’s a tradition in Taiwan to give cakes to those who gave you a baby gift so I want to buy some for the teachers and you need to go to these special shops for them). Anyway, the other night I decided that I’d give him a bottle and then try and pump more. The bottle had been in the fridge for just over a week. Jay just wouldn’t take it. He kept refusing. I decided then that I’d open it up and give it a whiff. I smelled it and didn’t really know what it was supposed to smell like so I tasted it and it was completely off!! And I was SO upset. 200ml is a lot of milk to go to waste. I went online again and it turns out that at room temperature it only lasts for like 5 hours and in the fridge 3-5 days and 2 months in the freezer. No wonder the milk was off. It sucks because now I keep having to freeze these small amounts because I don’t want the milk to stay in the fridge too long and go off and once it’s in the freezer you can’t “add” to it so the bag that holds 150ml only has around 50ml in it and it is just a waste of space. Also, those special freezer bags are so expensive!
I’ve decided that if one were to take a “sneak peek” into one of my days, it would totally depend on the time they chose to rock up in terms of them deciding if I were handling everything well or whether things were out of hand. As you know, when you have a newborn, it’s all about them and their needs. When they’re hungry and crying you don’t tell them to wait while you take a shower and get dressed. So, lets check out the scenario:
Baby cries to get fed. You get up with your hair all crazy and standing on end. No time to brush it or even pat it down. Stand up it must. You start the feeding process. 5 minutes in, baby takes a break. You burp the baby. Baby spits up all over your shoulder and nightie. Baby still hungry. No time to rush to the bathroom and wash yourself. Must make do with tissue paper and merely wipe it. Lovely sour milk smell. Baby finishes feeding. Not asleep. Decide to bath baby. Bath over. Pick up baby in towel. Leave bathroom as is. No time to hang up facecloth and put away baby bath, soap and shampoo. To change table. Baby crying. Hungry again. Baby decides to make a poo in the towel. No time to clean towel. Towel cast aside to be dealt with later. New diaper about to get put on. Baby makes a pee before you close it. Pee lands on change table and your arm. No time to go to bathroom and use soap and water. Tissue paper and hand sanitizer must suffice. No time to clean change table. Back to bedroom to feed. Pass by dogs in passage. Hard stare from them. Animals not yet fed. Balcony not yet clean. Floor rather hairy and in need of sweeping. But, baby hungry. Baby crying. Must feed baby.
Now if someone were to pop in at that exact moment, they’d think, “Wow! She is clearly not handling things!”
But, if I continue with the scenario:
Baby fed. Baby falls asleep. Baby in stroller. Rush to clean baby puke off self. Get dressed. Comb hair. Even apply make-up. Feed animals. Clean balcony. Clean towel. Sort out bathroom. Clean change table. Sweep. Eat something. Make tea. Sit on couch calmly reading a book, waiting for baby to wake up and feed again.
Now if someone were to pop in, they’d think, “Wow! She has really got it together!”
Ha ha! So, on the whole, I think I’m doing okay. It’s just about waiting for Jay to fall asleep so I can get stuff done. Then once it’s done the apartment feels clean and everything feels organized. It’s when he is awake and hungry that everything seems disorganized and all over the place. So does that mean that things will get more and more disorganized as he stays up for longer? Ha! (Oh, and by the way – he really does love to poo in his towel after taking a bath and he loves to make a pee WHILE you’re changing his diaper so it sprays right up and lands on you and whatever else is close by).
I read up all about infant massage and they tell you to do it after the baby’s bath, but Jay is having none of that! He seems to like his bath, but he doesn’t like the part afterwards where he gets a new diaper and fresh change of clothes. When I tried to do the massage post-bath he just started screaming. He was probably just too hungry to wait for me to give him a massage. It does seem to help for when he has a wind, though.
The co-sleeping is going well. As I told you before, I now get between 7 and 8 hours sleep a night which is great. I do still feel tired, though, and possibly it’s because my body is still getting used to the fact that although I get that many hours in total, I don’t get them all at once. I mean they’re usually broken up into 1 to 3 hour increments with periods of 30 minutes or an hour between them. The other day, he slept for six hours and I still had to wake him up! He was up for a long time the night before, though. Still, I know it’s not good for them to sleep for more than 4 hours because they need to get fed so now I make sure that I set my alarm for 4 hours after he falls asleep again so that he definitely doesn’t sleep for more than 4 hours at a time. We moved the crib away from the bed because we don’t use it yet. Instead, the stroller is next to my bed because during the day he usually sleeps there. I think he likes it because it’s smaller so he feels safer and warmer than in the crib where he only takes up a quarter of the space. I was a little worried about him sleeping in the bed due to safety reasons, but Greg went to the baby store and bought this special pillow that is basically these two parts and he fits between them and it prevents him from turning over onto his stomach. We also put that pillow on another pillow so he is higher up and level with our heads and put him close to the top so that the duvet can never cover his whole body. Now he sleeps… well… like a baby!
We give him “tummy time” every day to help him strengthen his neck muscles and the muscles he needs to use for crawling. He doesn’t like to do it for too long as he gets frustrated, but he can move his head from one side to the other now. Also, the other day I held up his butterfly toy (it’s this plastic butterfly thing with colorful rings that clatter when you shake it and wings that make a crackly sound). I was holding him in my lap and shaking it and the next moment he stuck out his hand and grabbed it. It wasn’t a firm grip or anything, but there was definitely an attempt which was cool to see. I’ve noticed that over the last couple of days he seems to focus on things more. When I talk he’ll move his eyes and stare at me or manage to focus on something. I still don’t think he knows what Rusty is, though. During the day if he is sleeping, I wheel him around in the stroller, but if he is awake and is fed, changed and burped and still awake – I put him in his carrier and usually that helps him fall asleep. He does seem a little afraid of heights, though, because when I bend down suddenly, he’ll suck in his breath and stick his arms out the side and sort of grab onto my arm.
This week we got three gifts. One was two huge containers of baby lotion from one of Greg’s colleagues, the other was two Baby Gap onesies and the other was a package from Mom R that was this lovely towel, some gorgeous bibs and two special plastic containers that will come in most useful. We had no idea she was sending anything so it was a lovely surprise. The mailman also delivered my open work permit this week so that was cool, too.
I haven’t really been out of the house – only when we went to the hospital, but I’m starting to feel the urge to get out so we are going to go for a walk in the park tomorrow. I guess I just don’t feel ready to go out to other places yet. I’ve lost 10kgs since Jay’s birth, but I have another 4 to go and they just aren’t budging. Thing is, the doctor said I couldn’t exercise for 6 weeks after the op which I’m finding frustrating because most of my pants still won’t close in the front. They totally fit everywhere else and aren’t even tight on my thighs, but it feels like my pelvis got wider or something. I just hope I manage to lose the weight so I can fit into all my clothes again. Sure it’s nice to buy new clothes, but it’s rather depressing when the reason is because you’re too fat to fit into your regular clothes.
Okay, now I just feel hungry. Breastfeeding does use up a lot of energy! Let me go scrounge around for something quick and easy and hopefully healthy.
Lots of love
Em x