Life is complex and full of constant change no matter how we want to control it. There is an ebb and flow. It tears us down and then we rebuild. Along the way we will have many complex experiences. We experience love, sorrow, happiness, anger and even at times just absolute emptiness. At times we may feel all of these things at once. We are some of the most complex creatures in existence. One thing that works for one person may not work for another when trying to get through hard times.
One thing that is constant is everyone has a choice. This will never change. We can choose to let an experience have total control over us and our thoughts and emotions. We can also choose to accept any given experience and learn from it. There is no rule that says we have to let a mistake or bad spot in life define us. We don't have to hold on to it. It really boils down to that. It will not be easy the majority of the time but that is ok. This is how we learn and grow from these complex experiences. There will be times when your thoughts and feelings run away with you. This is normal and it happens to all of us. It's all part of the growing process. We can get stuck in self destructive thought processes and negative self talk. We defeat ourselves before we even try to fix things. This is the hardest habit to break. Old habits die hard BUT they do die! You must forgive yourself! I know this is all easier said than done.
It's best to start with the small things in life. Then work your way up from there. You will find in doing this that healing old wounds will then come naturally over time. Your mindset and perception of life changes with every hurdle you overcome regardless of how big or small that hurdle may be. Most importantly you must understand a few things. Firstly, you are not broken or worthless. Second, you are worthy of love regardless of what you have done or how you perceive yourself. The third thing is you will make mistakes and thats ok. No one is perfect. What matters is how you own that mistake and choose to react to the aftermath. No matter what happens every decision small or large has a direct effect on the world within you and around you. Do your best to react with love and compassion as often as possible. I know others outside of your personal sphere can make that hard at times. Just remember to take things one day at a time.
Take on some new habits. It will seem silly or odd at first. Again, I would like to say that it is ok to feel odd or silly. It's all part of the growing process. Try breathing exercises or meditation. Keep a journal or log of your decisions and events that deeply effected you. You can look back and see where you can make changes or reflect on times you made that right choice and see the progress. Try not to look to hard in to the future of things. This can lead to pre cognitive distortions and negative self talk. It will be hard at times. Even now I still struggle with the very same things. Everyone does. Always remember you are NEVER alone in experiencing these thoughts and emotions. ALL humans experience these things.
In closing I would like to drive home the most important thing of all. That is that you MUST love. Love your mistakes. Love your trials. Love your successes. Love your growth and changes in habit. Love those around you and approach everything where possible with love and compassion. Most of all LOVE yourself! You deserve it! You may not realize it but you will inspire someone. You will not only build up yourself but, most importantly you will build up the world around you. Never give up! Everything you strive for is possible with perseverance. Think of your trials as opportunities! We can do this! In due time our quality of life will change as does our perception. This will spread to all those around you. I believe we are all linked on a conscious level. When we become aware of this we grow exponentially. Remember to always Go Beyond!