Be aware of fear in your life. Before you
can
begin overcoming fear, you have to admit
that
you have it. Perhaps fear is your “normal”
state
of being, and that is quite a bit to
overcome all at
once. Write down some aspects of your life
where
have fear; getting them down on paper is
important, because trying to simply think
them
through never works.
.
Stare at fearless people. Fill your brain
with
images of what you want your “future self”
to
look like. Connect with as many role
models as
you can, whether in person, through a
book, or
online. Use these examples as an energy
source
to combat your fear.
.
Be objective. Take an interest in
investigating
your fears. Ask yourself about what
thoughts
generate your fear, where you feel the fear,
and
how you react to it. Try to be an objective
observer of your own life.
Be willing to look stupid. Remember:
Wayne
Gretzky fell on his tail a ton, and Itzhak
Perlman
has had horrible performances. Once you
are
willing to risk the emotional pain of making
mistakes, you will shed more fear than you
ever
imagined. Know that making mistakes will
help
you obtain information you use to create
the
correct behaviors, and that everyone who
has
ever done something great has failed more
than
once.
.
Adopt a mindset of gratitude. Whenever
you
feel fear, try to feel grateful instead. I have
been
performing a lot of solos recently, and it is
scary!
Instead of freaking out, I have decided to
be
grateful for the opportunity to
communicate
musically with so many people, and I know
that
they are there to genuinely listen to me
play and
root me on.
Seek out teachers. It’s never too late to
have a
teacher; we are never done learning. Seek
out
someone who scares you a little —not a
polite
person who always makes you feel warm
and
fuzzy. Seek out someone who watches you
closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear
directions on how you can get better at
whatever
scares you.
.
Share. How often do we hold the
negative in
because we are afraid of how others might
react?
Sharing helps, because you will realize that
many
people feel the same way as you do, and
have
stories to share as well. Do you have a
fear of
success, or a fear of failure? Sharing with
someone can help you examine what you
truly
want from life, and where your fears come
from.
.
Embrace struggle. Most of us
instinctively
avoid struggle, because it feels like failure,
and
that scares us, but the term “no pain, no
gain”
holds true. To develop our skills, it is a
necessity
that we struggle, so we must embrace it.
Once
we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates.
Read. My personal favorite. Reading a
good
book related to your specific fear can open
new
doors on how you can get rid of it. I
constantly
fill my world with motivational and
inspirational
books on, and related to, the topic I’m
dealing
with.
Use visualization. Imagine yourself in a
scary
situation without fear. Watch people do
things
fearlessly that would normally freak you
out.
Visualize yourself as that person. Create a
very
clear picture of fearlessness in your mind.
.
Put things in perspective. Putting your
negative thoughts in perspective is a huge
way to
overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life,
why
are you afraid? While you are freaking out
about
something, life is moving on without you.
Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this.
Release control. Of course we want to
be in
control, but when we relinquish it we tend
to free
ourselves up. Allow yourself to make
mistakes—
after all, that’s where learning and growth
really
happens. We learn from our failures, but to
fail we
need to release control.
.
Think about the worst case scenario.
What’s
the worst that could happen? I have
crumbled on
stage in front of hundreds of people. My
wife still
loved me; I lived. Life goes on.
.
Look within. What is the root of your
fear?
Meditate on it. Look inside and ask
yourself when
the fear started: How far back does your
fear go?
Did you have an early failure that has
stuck with
you? Explore it. That’s what life is all
about.
Overcoming fear requires a growth
mindset; an
attitude that we can grow and change if
we
choose. Nothing is “locked in” forever; we
can
change. It takes time and practice.
Hopefully the
tips above will help you begin your journey
to
ditch fear.
