Yesterday I lost one of the most important people in my life: my grandmother.
She was a fighter and the most beautiful person I knew. Also, the freaking nicest. She was a role model for me, and she always inspired me to do what I love.
I can undoubtedly say she was the most influential person in my childhood and I dare to say, I wouldn’t be half the person I am if it wasn’t for her.
I was looking out for her, sitting by the side of her hospital bed when the time came, and she decided it was time to go. I decided to turn the TV on and put the Christian channel since the Mass was on, and I knew she used to love watching it.
She was sedated, the nurse had come in just minutes ago and, although she was supposed to be out almost instantly, she wasn't. And because I knew she could hear me, I sang her favorite song.
"El Día Que Me Quieras" by Carlos Gardel. Which translates to, "The Day That You Love Me."
As the song came to an end, and the dimmed hospital lights framed the soft expression on her face, I held her hand until she let go of me and passed away.
And I felt at peace.
I truly believe a part of me left with her and my life, as I knew it, will never be the same again. My heart aches just by thinking of how much I am going to miss her. I already do. But I've decided that I want to remember her as the kind-hearted fighter she always was.
I wasn't able to shed a tear during the burial, and it was because I am genuinely at peace with the fact that I did my best to make her feel good. I was always by her side in her best and worst moments of her life; thick and thin.
The naive part of me wanted to believe that my love for her was strong enough to bring her to the light, but, as expected, I failed. I'm not a doctor, and as I found no cure to her disease, all I could do was talk about life with her, as days passed us by, and we hold on to the last memories we formed.
I will never stop loving you, and I will never stop missing you.
Photo 01 - Photo by Simeon Muller on Unsplash
Photo 02 - Photo by Forrest Smith on Unsplash