A post on healthy, loving relationships? Is there such a thing as a healthy, loving relationship? And when we are thinking in terms of relationship, is it romantic or plutonic? With other or with self? I am going to get quite personal in this post to talk about my learning experiences towards finding a "loving, healthy relationship".
Many years of my life have been about trying to obtain a healthy romantic relationship, more precisely seeking "love". What I have accomplished is the bearing of five beautiful children and a realization that before I can have a loving, healthy relationship with some one else, I first have to have one with myself. This epiphany extends to relationships with my kids and being able to show them what healthy, loving relationships are.
Most recently my heart has been breaking for the other person in my life to give me back what I felt as though I was giving him. But what I discovered was the mirror of what is inside of me. I am a mess. Not trusting, and unable to accept love, or to be more precise, recieve love. This is not to say the other person in my scenerio is inflicfed with the same, but the situation doesn't allow for a proper connection, love and trust to flourish.
My early life consisted of the typical, you must conform or be considered bad, child rearing. I never believed in myself or my capabilities. From the moment I became aware of myself, I have fought hard to be accepted in love, and life. Believing I have to be like someone I am not, attempting to fit in but nowhere felt right. For relationships, landing myself with people who reflected the same darkness as me, lack of trust, security and an inability to actual love because of the missing piece, not knowing what love really is.
How do you have a "healthy" and "loving" relationship without first understanding how to love and be loved? You can't.
Recently, I began working to repair and nurture within myself, my inner child to be precise. This past "love" experience has given me the insight into how to obtain and give real love. Giving myself the required acceptance, understanding, patience and trust has opened my eyes to the needs of others. Also, of my children's own requirements for a loving and healthy relationship. Not just the unconditional love that is said to be present when you have children.
Another thing I have noticed, I feel less jealous towards others who have "more" or are in what is perceived from the outside to be a loving and healthy relationship. Also, I am no longer seeking to fulfill this long time "need" since the external remedy was never the actual remedy.
When you can trust, appreciate, accept and love yourself, you will find this reflected back to you as this is what you are truly looking for, a real law of attraction. To me, this is when a loving and healthy relationship with others will come to be in all aspects, not just the romantic.
In the meantime, take care of you inside and out. Inner beauty is what brings outer beauty by way of not only personality but by having a love and appreciation for yourself, you will find the healthy options and exercise easier to follow through with.
Give this video a watch, Teal Swan is very insightful and this particular video is about why and how to heal the emotional body, or "inner child".
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