It is said that there are no individuals, there are relationships.
A person is not the same in the eyes of a friend as of a spouse or partner. The person is the same, but the other with whom they relate has another look and therefore another link is established. Is a person the same if your child looks at you if your father looks at you? Yes and no, because although the individual is the same, it is not the same to be in front of a child as in front of a father.
In short, the position we occupy in the gaze of the other conditions our behavior and therefore our personality, in their eyes. When a grandfather and his grandchild talk about someone who is, respectively, their son and their father, they talk about the same individual and at the same time they do not speak about the same individual.
It is a very common situation to find ourselves surprised that someone speaks ill of a person because our experience - relationship, bond - with that same person is, on the contrary, satisfactory and pleasant. Who is that person, the pleasant or the unpleasant? Neither of the two simply happens that in one case the relationship that has been established is positive and in the other case it is not.
All are pleasant for some and unpleasant for others. Therefore, in that sense it is correct to say that there are no people, there are relationships.
Relationships can be negative, neutral or positive
The negatives are marked by ignorance and mutual ignorance and tend to generate toxic elements, both at the psychological level in the individual, animosity, resentment, envy, jealousy ..., as well as social influence that emanates from the negative relationship between two people it can affect your environment with great intensity, a group of friends, brothers or colleagues; or the children, if the negative relationship is about what the parents have established.
Neutrals are characterized by mutual incomprehension and can be the prelude to positive ones if both parties have sufficient clarity of vision to modify the approach.
The positive ones are those we have with loved ones -friends, family- or with those who could be if the circumstances so permit. They are marked by generosity and mutual assistance, that is, by love, to the degree that it manifests itself. They are relationships with people to whom we feel united, we like to feel united, with whom we like to share good times and we are relieved to share the not so good ones.
On the theoretical level, it is clear to almost everyone. On the practical level, not so much, since our task is to make negative relationships in our lives become neutral and these in the waiting room of positive ones.
Cleaning rivers, forests and oceans is as necessary as cleaning homes, workplaces, schools, social centers, etc. Not in vain it is said that life is good if our relationships with others are good. Therefore, a society can contribute to providing a good life to its members if the percentage of negative relationships in that society decreases and that of positive relationships increases.
