sadly I sorta know this type of pain and thankfully I don't deal with it on a regular basis like some :( I feel sorry that anybody has to live in such a manner as that, I'm glad you found a way to deal as best you can even more glad you don't give up :) and folks wonder why I don't like guns :D I hope you never find yourself kissing the floor :D even if you spilled the last drop of coffee :P