She was my best friend until my husband told me she asked him for a discreet love affair. - anonymous
The above was the response i got from a random woman and below is of a random man on the street of Lagos, Nigeria, when i asked them of their experience with a trusted friend.
He was my friend since 5 years ago and i already took him to be my brother, little did i know that he was responsible for me loosing contracts worth over 2 million NGN, 3 times, not just once. - anonymous
It baffles me the way people turn from good to worse in just a blink of an eye, many friendships have been tarnished and reputation dropped drastically within a short while, especially trusted friends.
What justifies backstabbing?
What causes backstabbing?
Are the consequences of betrayal deserved?
Is it safe to stay around a friend who is a betrayer?
These questions linger in my head whenever i think of friends smiling in each other's presence and say all sort of things behind each other's back. How does one feel comfortable talking bad of his/her friend behind their back?
What good does one derive from such act?
Personally, i think envy is the main reason for backstabbing and betrayal, but is the endpoint worth the act?
Making someone cry has become some people's habit and it really marvels me if such act makes the betrayer happy at all or maybe they just do it for the sake of it.
This act is not left only to one gender neither is it peculiar to only a particular race, it is common amongst men and women all over the world.
Betrayal
This is the sense of being harmed by the intentional actions or omissions of a trusted person, this act is likely to cause serious emotional problems which might require medical/psychological help to recover from. In a simple form, betrayal is an harmful act that has serious effects and causes severe damage on the victim. Some forms of betrayal are:
- Harmful disclosures of confidential information
- Disloyalty
- Infidelity
- Dishonesty
Effects and Consequences Of Betrayal
The consequences of betrayal can not be overemphasised, in the sense that it poses a big risk of so many socio-psychological trauma. Below are few of them:
Loss of Trust
Trust is a wonderful thing if maintained, but what happens when trust is betrayed? The result is different in different persons but the most common result is the causation of the fear to trust again, not just the person who committed the act but to many other people, the victime might find it very hard to trust any other person anymore.
Distress
This is an emotional impact and in fact the most common and immediate effect on the victim, generally, the greater the trust that the victim had put in the other person and the greater the impact their betrayal has, then the greater the distress that will be felt.
A number of different emotions may be felt upon realizing you have been betrayed. The most common is anger although, depending on the situation, their might be fear of loss of the relationship and repulsion at the lack of integrity of the other person.
Justice
A betrayal victim may seek some form of justice especially if they feel like nothing seems to have been done by the authorities if reported in putting right what they feel has been wronged, including their sensibilities. Some may go the extra mile of taking laws into their own hands thereby landing themself in a big mess with the authority when caught, this is usually affected by the level of trust betrayed.
Self Esteem Reduction
Once confidentiality becomes a matter of public discussion, then self esteem might be shattered and hard to pick up especially for people with fragile temperament.
My personal belief, there is no gain or profits betraying a friend or a loved one, you only get to loose trust and also loose your reputation in the sight of the victim and people around if they get to know you for what you really are, so stay true and trustworthy, it goes a long way in sustaining interpersonal relationship.
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Warm regards