A Purrfect Way To Burn Extra Calories
Five or six days a week I hurl myself out of bed and run my form through a series of Pilates. Why Pilates you might ask? Well, I get plenty of cardio and strength training just living life around the farm, but there is something so invigorating about asking my carcass to hold and pulse various poses. By the time I finish a low impact, toning Pilates routine, I am rearing to go for the day. Well, I am at least trying to bolt into the shower. Close enough.
In reality, I am somewhat accident prone, and flexibility and toned muscles come in really handy when one falls off a hay pile or engages in some form of acrobatic saving roll at least once daily. Thus, Pilates.
This morning started off like any other morning, and before you could say the hundred, I was in tabletop and pulsing my hands to the beat of some copyright free house music. Then it began.
I usually close my bedroom door so that I don't have to deal with people laughing at my leg lifts or bridges, but this morning I was a dolt, and my first visitor was this creature:
The Precious.
It was warm up time and I was just getting started with the hundred, a classic Pilates move designed to warm up one's core.
I had proper positioning attained, and as my arms pumped up and down to a count of four breaths between inhaling and exhaling, I suddenly became aware of a presence. My orange floof-ball of love wanted to get in on the action and flopped her form next to my, er, caboose. She then made herself really useful by slapping my right hand every time I pulsed it up and down. I suppose blood loss while exercising counts for something, but at least my hands look like I fought a tiger in Sumatra!
After fighting the tiger through my core warm up work, I moved on to flintlock firming. Today I decided on a series of leg lifts that required me to be either on my hands and knees or core and forearms. Normally I enjoy such things, but for some reason my dog and my parent's dog (I'm babysitting), decided that it was imperative at that moment to come in and inspect my face for Alpo knows what. I know I got in some extra cheek muscle toning with all that head tossing, and nothing is colder on a January morning than a canine nose to one's neck.
The two dog heathens finally got bored and moved on, and I started to get confident that I might just make it through the rest of my work. Over-confidence sucks.
His name is Chaos, and the Universe saved the best for last.
I positioned myself in my single leg stretch move and as graceful as an almost Hobbit can attempt, began one of my favorite moves. Halfway through the first leg drop my right leg was seized in an agony of needle-fire and I became aware of the fact that I had animal teeth sunk into my heel. The Death Tabby had hurtled himself through the air, latched onto my foot, and was biting and rabbit kicking my poor appendage like a pigeon of fortune. I might have woke my poor husband up with my holler of agony (that dratted man had the gall to laugh at my misfortune).
My cat of Pilates catastrophe was dislodged with a rather violent leg flick, and after uttering a few un-polite phrases, I continued with my work. He responded to this interruption by running up the leg of my husband's insulated coveralls that are hanging on the back of my bedroom door and perching on the top of the birch paneling. I glared at him for the rest of my single leg stretches and proceed to move on to my double leg lifts.
The strain was more than Chaos could bear.
A double leg lift is when you have your hands in a triangle under your tailbone for support and you lower you legs up and down as far as you are able for multiple reps. It feels so amazing, and by amazing, I mean it burns like Hades fire in your lower abdomen! My cat, however, couldn't take the fact that there was a potential moving ledge to jump upon, and halfway through my sixth leg drop he took flight from the top of the door and landed on my legs in the small moment that they were at parallel. I responded in the only way I know how and put all my mighty ab power into my upward lift motion. I launched that little sucker all the way across my bedroom. He landed on all fours on the floor and took off like a rabbit. I laughed in triumph (ouch abs!), and continued on in un-harrased, muscle toning bliss.
Tomorrow I will absolutely remember to close the bloody door.
In the end I probably got a little something extra out of my almost daily Pilates routine today, and as animal Yoga seems to be all the rage across the country, perhaps I will perfect my new workout method and offer Pet Pilates as the big new trendy thing.
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