Ever seen some people who just undergo terrible experience or situation and yet they are more joyful and happy compared to you and others currently with no misfortunes. And we asked do they understand what just happen to them or what they are going through, and wondered why these people behave so? We asked do these people ever have feelings or negative emotions at all, are these people, humans. In some cases, they even sit us down to motivate ourselves. This character is what psychologist called RESILIENCE. It is usually associated with the ability to cope with life or living after an adverse situation. Guess you already thinking of that friend, family, and relative who had at one time displayed that attribute. May I share a case with you so that we might grasp from it what RESILIENCE is?
The best way to teach people is by telling a story- Kenneth Blanchard.
Story
Casting my mind back, to my university days, within a week two of my friends (Timi and Tayo) lost their dad to a terrible sickness after our first semester's exams, but their response was entirely different. While it had to take the intervention of Tayo hostel landlord to calm him down and prevent him from traveling to Ibadan the night which the news was spread to him, you couldn't tell that Timi Dad just died though he sobbed, but not in a way that attracted question about his life and wellbeing. Let's say he did it with swag (that's on a lighter note). Tayo kept screeching about the untimely of the death of his dad not waiting to reap the fruit of his labour in Yoruba language (E duro je ounje omo). But did he have any fruit to offer to his Dad? He could not overpower the simple adverse situation as his academics went on dwindling since then. While, on the other hand, Timi was a superhero who went on to graduate with an excellent grade.
Psychology
Point of View Psychology, though a science, is not complicated as it is a social science. Resilience is actually a Psychological word. It generated from the study of a psychologist (Norman Garmezy) on thousands of children in areas identified with a bad economy. A nine-year-old boy was the principal research subject in the research. Despite losing his mother to the grip and power of alcohol and father to irresponsibility, he always had a beaming smile on his face every morning he walked into his school. Bread Sandwich with nothing between squeezed into his backpack was the only food he had as there was none of the parent available to prepare food for him. With this, he never allowed anyone pitied him due to his conditions. Garmezy classified him under a particular group of children who against all the odds find their way succeeding and outshining in life. From the two stories or analysis, what then is resilience?
WHAT DO YOU SEE-
It's all about perception From our discussions with family and friends, life learning stories like the story of different blinds men's describing an elephant, the rising and setting of the sun and human description of beauty; we would realize that life is all about PERCEPTION. A thing means different things to different people. Take a look at the picture below
This might either be a half-filled bottle or half empty bottle to you. The two seems to be the same thing, but they are entirely different as one speaks of negativity (empty) and the other speaks of positivity (filled) Although the parents of the nine-year-old kid were irresponsible, he never saw that as an excuse to settle for less or to put on a bony face. Timi never saw the death of his father as the end of life, he saw death as a normal phenomenon, and this helped him to embrace the path of success with all his strength. Our perception of a situation will influence our response to the case. If we see it as a bad situation, our response to it will surely be a bad decision/response and vice versa. In other words, our perception of life is simply our behaviour. What do you see about life? Not all about resilience. Stay tuned for the remaining part of this article Reference: The New yorker and Wikipedia
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all images used were gotten from PIXABAY
