All of my life I was/am criticized about any possibly thing you could/can see on me or what I was doing. I understand everyone gets judged everyday and I am no different than others or have it any worse than others but this is how I view myself because of the relentless criticism.
At a very young age I would get made fun of because I was taller than the other kids, too skinny and my clothes didn't match. It never stopped. As I approached middle school I found myself not being able to see well so that would mean glasses. Around the same time I got my glasses I also ended up with braces. Let me tell you that having both at the same time coupled with being taller than other kids does not make life any easier while at school nor did it make learning any easier.
Once in high school horrible rumors where being passed around about me and the torment of being ridiculed never ceased. All of the relentless ridicule coupled with the chaos I was dealing with at home made everyday life extremely difficult to the point I left high school. Even after leaving high school the torment still did not stop. It continued and followed me while I was out in the world trying to fend for myself.
Once I was out on my own I had the wonderful (I say that sarcastically) chance to meet a person who would only help transform and further my disdain for myself. This man literally took close to 8 years of my life by continuously manipulating me and mentally abusing me. By this point in my life I didn't see any value In myself or trust anyone. I had completely lost myself in the many many years of torment,criticism and bullying.
Now I fight everyday to find something in me that is even remotely good. Let me tell you it is one hell of a struggle and some days there is absolutely NOTHING redeeming about me or so I truly believe.
Like I mentioned above this is not to say I had it any worse than anyone else but to simply start to purge myself of the many emotions that have been held hostage in me my whole life.
