Day in and day out doing the same, the same thing every day, the same routines, the same patterns, the same structures, the same short terms and long terms patterns.
You can take a look for yourself, everyone reaches this stage in their life, where the NEW and freshness of “life” is over. When everything we started doing and wanted to achieve either came true or just never do, we then fall into routines, where every day is the same from waking up to going to sleep.
Have you reached this point yet? Where you sit down with yourself and you take a look at yourself and your life, and you ask yourself one simple question that can either bring you to a point of questioning reality and getting some straight real answers and develop some self-honesty and get moving forward, or you can ask this simple exact question and fall into a pit of self-pity and victimization, which leads to depression, anxiety and many other things that flow out from that in our lives.
If you have not reached this point in your life, then the system that is here as the current accepted and allowed way of life on earth for all life as abuse, fits you pretty well. Many find this system very content, secure and relaxed, depending on their position and location within this world which is determines by their financial positions and relationships (sex) and that’s really all some people want and need to remain content and forget about life as a whole.
After I spend already 10 years within the schooling system within this world system, I reached this point as a final destination for myself within this system. I remember sitting in class with all the other kids, about 40 kids in one classroom. I looked around and I just saw all of us like zombies watching the teachers saying things to all of us, like it is important what she is saying, like it has the meaning and value of LIFE itself, and we are all just accepting and allowing it, taking it as a natural progression, way of life so to say. I kept looking at each kid, how they were sitting there by this tiny desk with this massive school bag filled with books, with their pens and books on the table and all of this for what?
I reflected in that moment on my parents, as the end result of what I am not busy doing and what I am doing in school and what the results will be for me after school and some years into the workplace. All I could see was, work. A father that came home late nights from making money, a Mother tired from looking after three kid and losing her own life/time, same for the father and living for the day they can retire and finally live when they are too old to live. (Not to mention all the bullshit and drama and all the other relationships and emotional shit that comes with it all in between).
I had a moment after this reflection in the classroom, and I had a slight fear/anxiety of feeling trapped, feeling like I am being forced into all of this, when did I have a say, where did I take part in these decisions of what my life must be and how it must be, when did I ever agree to the system and wanting to work and live for money, I didn’t get a say in any of it, I mean this system even gives the options and possibilities of poverty, famine and starvation, rape and murder and crime, who the fuck decided this is my options?
There HAS to be something else, something MORE, either the possibilities of it, or I would have to make deliberate decisions that isn’t just “normal”.
How at the age of 16 was it possible for me to already be fucked up? To already be depressed and sad and stressed?
I started to rebel, I refused to just go with the flow of the system. I ended up leaving school early and not finishing, I worked as a waiter to earn some money. In the meantime I started venturing into finding out more about life, about what is here and what are the possibilities on this BIG planet of ours. In my mind I had an Idea of the world and our planet, that there are still parts of this earth that does not belong to anyone and where anything is possible, a place to run away to, to find a new world so to say on this planet. I soon discovered that every single corner of the Earth has already been occupied, and basically it is the same everywhere – what made it the same everywhere was the one thing that was the same, and that is money and the systems revolving around money.
Everything I wanted to do didn’t exist or weren’t possible as I wanted to do it, due to money controlling everything. It is set up in such a way that everything is monetized and that to have or do anything you need money, there is no FREE WILL or FREE CHOICE as I was taught, it is either money or not, and we know how it goes either way.
I then discovered in that time, that there was a new world, a different world to still explore and go into, this was into me, into myself, to journey inwards, as outwards was of no question anymore, everything started to turn sour outwards, I started resenting and hating, I got angry and frustrated, depressed and spiteful, to much conflicts started arising within my world, which wasn’t good either.
This one moment, this one question of “is this all there Is to life” threw me off a lot, and I know most people avoid even going into this question, as it can and will shatter our “world” and we will be forced to face some self-honesty with what we have suppressed and denied of ourselves for so long by just taking it as it comes. It is the same thing as do not question GOD, it Is actually that money is god, so do not question money, because if you do question god/money and actually go into answering the questions for yourself in self-honesty you will find with common sense that it is all nonsense, it makes no sense and we are senselessly going through life, numbing ourselves to reality and forgetting ourselves, real sell outs.
So, the journey inwards is very interesting, and quit a big point within understanding as within so without, as we do not question, and so simply accept and allow, as questions leads to answers that must be common sense, and we can only but act and respond on what we have accepted as common sense, if we do not, we create depression, anxiety and stress, as we are not acting on what we know, so we know we are creating something that isn’t good, that’s why we are stressed, anxious and fearful, because we KNOW we are accepting and allowing brutal dishonest and evil shit, and thus from that point we deserve to be full of fear, anxious and stressed, because we are doing nothing about life on earth and the conditions that we are accepting and allowing, will come to us as they are being done and given to billions of others.
To be continued
