I recently went out for a few beers at the local club. Won my money back on the pokies and went home, had a shower, got dressed and made it to the pub down the road to meet some mates. The place was packed. There was a live band pumping out rock classics and lovely girls were dancing. I pulled up a chair to join the lads but unfortunately I tripped and bumped into somebody who was drinking from a can. It was a genuine accident but this hipster type with a round ball of hair on his chin took offence. His can of bourbon and coke had cost him 11 bucks and he reckons he lost half and demanded I buy him another can. I objected and as he got angry and stuck his chest out puffing himself up I told him to go and fuck himself. Before things got worse, the pub landlord, who saw the incident intervened and told the idiot it was an accident. The idiot went away. A few beers later and a bit of a stagger on the dance floor, I decided it was time to go home. I got a cab and paid with a 10 dollar note I had in my pocket.
When I got home and emptied all of my pockets, panic struck, I had lost my wallet. It contained $300 in cash and one of those tap and go cards meaning someone could easily empty my account.
I couldn't understand why, after all these years of never losing it from the back pocket of my jeans I should lose it now.
My phone was broken so I couldn’t call the pub to see if had been handed in or call a cab to take me back or call the bank to cancel my card. I was recovering from a broken ankle so could not walk back.
My only course of action in my alcohol fuelled brain was to drive to the pub and see if had been handed in.
I only got 200 meters from my house when the cop car pulled me over. I explained the situation as I was being breath tested and I think they believed me. They bundled me into their paddy wagon and took me to the local cop shop where they breath tested me again. I was arrested for mid range drink driving with 0.135 grams of alcohol in 210 litres of breath, charged and left to make my own way home.
The cops called the pub and my wallet had been handed in. They went to collect it so my excuse was sound but the cash was missing.
Could the idiot at the pub that wanted to hit me have lifted the wallet from my pocket, I think so. Can I prove it? No. The police were great, I was in the wrong.
The result - they cancelled my license straight away so I couldn't drive until the court date. They told me to expect a 3 month driving ban and a $500 fine.
Being a tight arse.
If my phone was working I would have called the pub to find my wallet had been handed in. As my phone was broken, I went to buy a new that morning but decided to wait for the special on the at the local post office that I had to order in and save myself 50 bucks.
So, being a tight wad trying to save 50 bucks ended up costing me a $500 fine, and a driving ban. Not to mention the $300 lifted from my wallet.
What a f*cking idiot.