Since I began writing on steemit, I have found myself looking at the world in a much different better way.
I was 18 when I sat down to watch TV. What did I just see?
I have always had a very tough time slowing down and simply enjoying life. I have always felt like I should be doing something at all times. Actually it is far more accurate to say I have always felt like I should be doing ten different things at all times (ADHD will do that to you).
When I would see a guy quietly sitting in a chair looking at the sky, trees, or water, I would think to myself, "Oh my gosh! Is that person dead? Does he need help? What is wrong with him? Is he really a life-like statue? Did he snap? Is he hiding from a T-Rex (according to Jurassic Park they can only see motion)? Is he planning an attack? Did he get bit by a Black Widow? Is he on strike? Can he not stand up because a pretty woman just walked by and he is a little too "excited"? Can he read my mind?" (See I can't even just think one thing at a time.)
If I sit perfectly still, that T-Rex behind me won't eat me and that woman won't know I'm really into her.
But now I actually get it. He is sitting there because he doesn't need to be doing something else. Sitting and enjoying the scene is something.
Not only do I "get it" now, I can actually do it. (I bet my parents and teachers wish I would have figure this out 30 years ago... but screw them. Maybe they shouldn't have been so boring!)
Recently I have found myself quietly observing the world much more than ever before.
Why?
Now when I am experiencing a moment, I automatically ask myself, "Would this be fun to write about?"
Quite often the answer is "Yes".
I understand many people do not need this crutch. They do not need to occupy their mind by writing a post in their heads while they enjoy time with their friends, family, or themselves.
But I am not most people. I spent 45 years constantly racing.
This is my brain for the past 45 years.
It is hard for me to slow down. I need something to help me to regulate my brain.
The side effect of this has been fantastic! For the first time in my life, I am finding that instead of constantly looking for the next thing to do, I am really being in the moment. I am looking for details I would have never noticed before. I am fully immersing myself in each moment. And it is awesome! (Why didn't I try this before?)
I am no longer looking for external distractions to help keep me on the move. I now have an internal one. Actually that is incorrect. It is not a "distraction" at all. This new way of looking at the world is actually giving me a framework and an excuse to focus on the here and now. It is helping me to connect the present with experiences and emotions of the past. It is helping me to be a better husband and father in the here and now.
For 45 years, I viewed the world like a person who was channel surfing. I would stop on a moment and enjoy it... but then look to see if there were a better moment on the next channel. But then I would forget what I had just seen.
Am I ever going to find that farmersonly.com commercial?
If you ask a channel surfer, "What did you watch last night?" Their response is probably not going to be very informative or interesting. Because in reality, they didn't watch anything. They raced through so many stories that they cannot possibly thoroughly recount the details of any one of them.
If someone had assigned them a task of watching a program and reporting about it the next day, it would be a much different situation. The viewer would look for every detail, learn as much as possible about every character, and thoroughly enjoy the payoff at the end of the show.
I now feel I have given myself a similar assignment every day. Instead of just "channel surfing" through my day, I am looking for every detail and thoroughly enjoying each moment.
I would definitely never forget if I were one of the other two players who didn't get a hint like this when it was their turn to solve the puzzle.
How many of those enjoyable moments did I miss by "surfing" for the next one?
Probably quite a few. But who cares? Those moments are gone. I don't have a DVR for life. I can't perseverate on what I might have missed. That would only be another distraction from the here and now.
I can't afford to be distracted anymore. If I allow that, I might miss something worthy of writing about.
More importantly, I might miss something worthy of becoming an unforgettable shared memory with someone I love.
First he taught me how to be the sausage king of Chicago. Then he taught me how to enjoy life... it only took me 30 years to heed his advice (about the life part).
Now I know what that guy in the chair was doing. He was thoroughly enjoying the show.
I hope I can continue to learn to do the same.
But maybe I will need to enjoy the show while jumping up and down on a pogo stick or something.
Curse you ADHD!