To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail...
The older I get, the more I recognise my own individuality and the more I trust my own process of reasoning. I don’t know why I used to believe that people were all so similar. I imagine that many years of being told what to do, and how to think was at the cause of me assuming that there was always a right and a wrong answer or way to accomplish things.
I was sitting in a lecture a few weeks ago. The gentleman presenting was an esteemed Physiotherapist/researcher and had a long list of credentials to go with his wealth of knowledge and experience which he was dipping into and kindly sharing with us future Physiotherapists. The purpose of the lecture was for him to share his professional and personal experiences and how they contributed to shaping the human he is today.
Although he said a lot of great things, what stuck with me the most from his presentation was a quote he recited, first spoken by Mark Twain: “To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail”.
It came about when he was explaining the importance of being extremely critical of information and its source. He mentioned that, despite the importance of maintaining an open mind, especially at a young age, it is not uncommon for people to be misinformed or unaware, regardless of their age, job title, position etc.
The way I interpreted the quote, and the way I think he wanted to convey it’s meaning was to be weary of how people offer you advice and information. A point of his that I saw coming, was that something that has worked for one person isn’t guaranteed to work for someone else. Something that has been effective in a particular set of circumstances may not be effective in another. He warned us to be weary of taking advice from people that failed to recognise this point. Immediately a series of faces appeared before my eyes.
As I’m writing this I cant help but think this concept of different things work for different people is really basic knowledge and I’m wasting my time writing about it…but then again I have regular interactions with people, young and old, that fail to put themselves in others shoes when giving advice.
“To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail”…brilliant…and so true. I feel like I’ve been on both ends of this quote. I’ve had people try to impose their methods onto me, and even successfully sway my opinion, making me hesitate or doubt myself, only for me to later discover another method of removing the flesh from said feline.
Occasionally however, I catch myself advocating that my hammer is the biggest and most effective. In both cases I feel as though usually intentions are pure. From my experience, in this kind of circumstance people are projecting their experience of what has PROVEN to be effective for them onto someone else in a similar situation and are only trying to help.
An example in my own life that I could relate this quote to involves meditation. Meditation changed my life, it worked powerfully to calm my busy and anxious mind teaching me how to view my thoughts with more perspective (amongst MANY other things), and ultimately it has helped me become more creative, confident, present and productive…and far less anxious. So when I’d come in contact with people, friends, patients etc. reporting symptoms that meditation helped cure me of, I couldn’t help but advocate and almost swear by its effectiveness! And be completely shocked if the person did not heed my advice.
My experience with this concept is that the person’s situation, more likely than not…is not so similar to you, as may appear. People are just so different, their experiences, thought processes, the way they react to stress…the list of possible differences between people is literally endless. So I now recognise that for me to think, my experience or opinion is guaranteed to work or be useful to someone else is a bit ridiculous!
I just feel like unless someone has explored literally every single avenue of a particular situation…they can’t guarantee that their way is right and yours is wrong.
I know myself the teachers and mentors that I appreciate the most are the ones that share their experience and readily admit that their way or solution may not be the only one, but it worked for them in x circumstances due to x reasons. Leaving the onus on the individual to make use of the information as they please.
So from now on before I share my opinion, advice or experience, I promise to first attempt to view the world through the eyes of the recipient. I also promise not to blindly accept the advice of someone who has failed to explore every avenue yet preach his or her opinion and alternative like it’s the word of god. I will continue to trust my own reasoning, ask questions and be critical of things I hear...because “To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail”.
Havek.