There's allot on the mind indeed! Saw a psychologist today for the first time since childhood. Not 'cause I need therapy, more to substantiate my personal state when mediating within gov't/medical institutions to find some relief/disability income. Why not, at least try, have been through allot, do have anxiety conditions. Although I don't want medication or any of this. More just therapy for myself to acknowledge what I've been through and recognizing the state I'm in now. I have a parent with mental illness, the classic paranoid schizophrenic symptoms. Tried to help them out when I was in a rough state myself some years back and it put me in a difficult financial/personal situation.
I also think about how I gave money to these Dark electronic/industrial bands too! They have been my therapy as well. I might have been on the brink if I hadn't got into this music in the last years. Also writing on Steemit kept me sane too! No joke. So yea, I'm just glad to say I'm happy to be here and have come this far! This is just beginning, I believe the rosy future is upon us here! Still feel a real neat vibe change about where I am and at lately! The situation is turning around it feels. That's why I must be diligent in working through all these issues that remained un-dealt with for some years. Always been rather poor and in the struggle. I don't envy anyone either, I'm glad I had the unique experiences since childhood that kept me alert, kept me caring for some core values. Never wanted to give up, get depressed or runaway. Would rather stare down the beast in the eyes. Stay on the sunny side of morbid.
Looking forward to the days ahead, staying charged and keeping on! I feel like I have so many stories to tell. Will keep working on my skill and developing some interesting projects. I want to keep building up something to share, more art/sound stuff to put out there!! I think it all went well today. Now back to the rest sleep state. I'm feeling a little more fresh lately. Will see what I can get up to tomorrow.
