Feel that severe cabin fever. I've always felt overwhelemed and in need of an outlet. Even now want to record songs and videos but have now place and very little time for it. I've calmed myself that plain old blogging is only outlet for now.
I don't have a bedroom or any doors in the place I live in. I'm with other people. I am unable to be loud or make much videos when they are around. I want to use our van for videos for music and such. My computer laptop broke a year ago and battery died so can't use van yet.
I've felt great anxiety for the last 15 years being a frustrated person with allot on my mind and not being able to express. Work feels like such a trap and am always too tired all the time. Always hand to mouth, not able to really live. Get depressed friends are ok being depressed and watching t.v. I have nowhere to go. Yet I freak out allot with cabin fever.
I'm sitting outside typing this on the phone. I want to be alone sometimes but never able. Just work and life with people. I have no studio,no alone time, no money etc. All I can do is write blogs and make art. Will power down eventually to buy new laptop in a couple months if we don't run out of work. Constant stress of running out of work yet I don't want to wprk anymore. It gives me bad cabin fever too. This feeling just rips me sometimes.
