So much is happening! I'm kinda scared. Working through all the past, deemed debts from gov't linger, fam member here was looking into a job prospect but it looks like it's too low of pay for them. We are doing alright now but still in a bind. I still worry about the future some. So now I feel like I'm getting alert, feeling real. It's like there is no one to help, there's nothing out there for me. Except we have our little tribe at home, our fam group. I still feel as though I can start here, create something magnificent and can't lose. The world seems haywire and gone stupid it seems. It makes it creepy that way, still want to go all the way political and fight back.
In ways I feel better than ever, like I've never had it so good. I aim to keep that up, have been under for so many years. Don't want to feel that constriction any more, I want to feel free. So I downloaded more sounds for the program on the iPad, making me learn and play more music on there. Somethings coming, just have to produce it and now worry. Go blind for awhile and let the creativity take over. I'm going to try here to go up up and away!! Blast of into good feeling life! That's the goal and plan.
I want this to be an exciting time! I'm going to have to force it, make it! Damn the circumstance and distracted people! I'm feeling this urge to make my own. Will print out some art pieces I've done here right away. Will start trying to sell some art!! Tomorrow I'm working while the other member has a rest for awhile. After I'm done being busy I will continue my creative work, in the evenings where I'm buy in the day I will practice too.
