This is one of those mornings. My live in partner who has a skin cancer was going off this morning. The doc says it's treatable and not serious. They have a swollen foot too and said oh dear! what if they have to amputate! Crying and carrying on I don't know what to do/react sometimes to that hyped up stress state in the other person.
I've been working on my stress/depress habits. For awhile I was so stressed I would grind my teeth and have anxiety attacks. It's all from poverty and feeling not a part of the community as you would like. When your poor you may be constantly working and not have time to properly care for yourself as would be ideal. I've got a stress skin condition in the last year or so too. I don't think it's cancer. If one keeps up the stress it could worse though.
It's a frustrating feeling for me to not know where to go to get away from stress or know how to help my family friend here when they act out in distress. It raises my stress level, especially in the morning. I get fighty cause I don't want to form depressed thought habits again. I don't want to feel defeated and wallow in misery. That is the worst headspace and I fight to not go there!
Anyway life goes on. I can't run away. Gotta work. The work is a stress point cause times are tough and everybody wants to pay you less and there is less ideal work to choose from. It's kinda brutal. But I have this feeling if I was given enough chance and support I can help change up the situation! Even Steemit here is a big part of that. The more chance I have to write and develop an interesting blog and tell a story the better the payout here too. I must take care and keep the positivity alight cause I know I have great potential. I'm not grinding my teeth anymore! The eczema on my hand has been worse. If I keep calm and work on realistic means I think it's all going to calm down.
Social stress is a killer to and I must guard myself and respect myself. I don't think I can go to the pub with my young friend anymore. Someone who always talks about girls all the time and is silly around them when I am with him at the pub. It's embarrassing. I have to have the courage to be o.k. with being alone from time to time. Hmm it's good I have known not to rely on friends for all my social needs. I like to mediate myself out in public and be chatty but not silly. I don't go around saying people are hot. I don't try to get laid , that's so lame! I want real relationships with people and good conversation.
I'm off now to work a bit and further process my life thoughts. Writing this was therapeutic for me! Thanks for reading! I will keep on feeling better and let the creativity shine! I won't be afraid for it to pay off! I don't think I will be stuck on a low paying job and stressful situation forever. I don't think I will fall into a dark depression... I'm not afraid of that anymore. Even though there is much stress there is also great passion in my self and the other family members here.
