Yesterday I was reminded once again of not labeling yourself. Not limiting yourself to a title. We limit ourselves based on what other people call us, label us or see us as.
“I never knew that the way people describe you would become a prison until they did it.” - TD Jakes.
Which is so profound and so true. We often operate under the title people see/call us. For example, that could be your position, your status, your reputation, the way you dress, talk, the list goes on... It becomes a prison because we start to limit ourselves to that specific title/label - a preacher, teacher, model, our dress sense, reputation or status, etc... But you were you before your title. A title is not who you are. You are at your best when you are authentic to your core. You have to be who you are and not what they call you. We start living by a name and it limits what else God wants to do in your life.
This speaks to me because for the longest time I was operating under the name people gave me. I’ve always really been into fashion and make-up, I like dressing up and having my face beat! And so people stereotyped me. I was just a ‘beauty queen’ 👑, almost as if there was nothing else to me. And there’s so much more to me than the way I dress and do my make-up. But people are quick to jump on the label band wagon. They are quick to give you a name and label you to a title or function. And so we start operating under that, & not being who we truly are. I’m a person, not a title. When you grasp this, it’ll change your life.
WHO ARE YOU? ✨
Do you remember who you were before the world told you who to be? Screw what society says! Who are you?
For the longest time I was stuck in this box. This box of isolation and comfort. I’m a pretty crazy, out there, potentially weird person (to some👀), I’m opinionated and crack a lot of jokes. Meanwhile people knew me as a quiet, shy and reserved person. It’s the box I had placed myself in years ago because when you’re a playful, out there kinda person, people hit you with some hurtful remarks sometimes. It used to affect me a lot and so I shut down so that I wouldn’t have to receive that anymore. I felt like I was “too much” and I should just tone it down a notch. But I turned it down a lot of notches to the point where I had become somebody that I’m not. I didn’t like being there but I got stuck there.
“Why are you so quiet?” would be the recurring question that I would get all the time. But I got stuck in a box because of limitation, because of a name. I wanted to break free from that box but I was too scared to. What would people think? How would people react? Those were my fears.
I lived in this box for years. It was frustrating when people asked me why I’m so quiet because I knew that wasn’t who I was. I’m actually pretty obnoxious. I became a little bitter towards some people because of the way they saw me. And yes I was partially to blame for that. Actually I take complete blame for that because I shouldn’t have changed just because of my sensitivity at the time.
ESCAPE THE BOX 📦
‘The box’ lies to you. It tells you it’s extremely hard to break out of it and become who you used to be, who you truly are, so you might aswel not even try. LIES!!! That’s the number one thing you need to realize whilst you’re in the box, it’s actually all in your head but you’ve allowed it to become your reality.
Take it from somebody who used to live in that box for years. The first step is always the hardest but once you’ve taken that first step, you’re well on your way. This is going to be the first step out of your comfort zone and out of the ‘fake you’ that you’ve been clinging to.
FIRST STEPS
— Conversating with a stranger.
— Getting involved somewhere (serving at a church, volunteering somewhere, a hobby that requires interacting with people.)
— Adding your 2 cents. Give your opinion on a matter.
— Compliment someone.
— Ask questions! When you’re in a group of people, start shooting questions to people, that way conversations start, the attention is off of you and you seem confident.
Basically what I’m trying to say is, you need to PUSH yourself out of your comfort. And you need to do this constantly. This way you open yourself up to people so they’ll feel more comfortable around you. The more you do it, the easier it gets. You’ll find that you feel a lot more confident than you did before and this automatically builds your self esteem and the way people see you. Become authentic to your core again! Be who you truly are! ✨
THE REALITY ✨
At the end of the day what’s worse? People not laughing at your joke so even though you probably embarrassed yourself, people will still remember you as somebody with a personality or shutting down and people walking away thinking you’re socially awkward?
What’s really the worst thing that could happen when you open your mouth again? Yes people might hit you with a remark but so what?! You’ll still be seen as a cool confident person because you’ve opened your mouth. When you shut off you might not receive those remarks but you’ll probably be seen as boring and somebody who doesn’t have anything to say for themselves. I don’t know about you but I’d rather be the loud obnoxious person I used to be😂.
I GOT OUT!✨
You might be wondering. But yes I got out of that box about a year ago! That’s where my journey to self discovery started. I was fortunate enough to undergo a “Gap Year Programme” where they forced me out of my comfort zone every single week! It was tough but I didn’t have a choice and so I pushed myself and guess what? It became easier and easier and easier. I became more confident because I suddenly realized that I am actually capable and I am more than the name they gave me. It was the most MAGICAL feeling. I started becoming the ‘real me’, the person God had always intended for me to be. But society is so loud nowadays! It clouded my thinking. It made me believe some dumb lies that I now laugh at. Don’t let society form who you are, let God show you who you truly are. 😀
Love you all, God bless💞