Something that's been on my mind is first times. Well no, not like that, though like that, too. This is about first times, in general, you know?
First times of anything. The first time you went to Paris, the first time you met someone who was really great, the first time you had sex, the first time you saw a really good band live or read a fascinating book.
All those things, they were priceless.
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash
So, why do we so desperately try to recreate them? Why are we so crazy about feeling that again? I mean, it's obvious we can't. That's what made these moments unique and special and everything. The fact there would never be something like that again.
People generally try to go back and easily get stuck in loops. We felt great at so-and-so hotel for our holiday last year, so why not go back this year? And sure, it's a little less nice, but it's still a pretty decent experience. And the next year, you go back again and it's even less nice. And so on.
Humans are creatures of habit and once we've found something we like, we tend to stick to it. Even when we don't like it as much anymore.
It's the same with relationships - not all, but many. Deep down, there is the question 'why can't it be as nice as it was three years ago when we first started going out?'.
Well, because it doesn't work that way. Most things in this world are great because they're new and because you've never done them before. There's all this adrenaline that comes with your first time. There are exceptions (like sex, ironically), but many things just can't be as good as they once were.
Experiences.
You went to see a band you always wanted to see and they were great and it was the night of a lifetime. Well, exactly. It can't be the "nights of a lifetime". That's not how we say it, is it? And the next time you go, you won't be as excited, you'll already kinda know the set and everything. But you keep going, because of that first time that was just so wonderful.
When you could break the chain and go out and try new things. Except most of us are afraid, because what if we never find something as nice again? At least now, we can kid ourselves into thinking we're having a great time. Most experiences are good for you precisely because they're on a time limit. You live it, you learn from it and then you move on.
You've learned what you could from it and no, going back won't magically add new things for you to discover. Let go. Be grateful for what you found and ave the power to move on.
