Standing now, on the edge of adulthood, I look at myself, at who I am, entering the 'grown-up world', and how I came to be this way. I find I am happy with who I am, that I am true, that I speak my mind. I think the values I respect are good ones. I believe in Honesty, in Bravery, in Truth, in Love. I believe my life is mine. And I think it's going to be okay, that I've got what I need to make it.
And I thank Lemmy for that. See, I believe we choose our heroes and it's important whom we choose, because in the end, they shape us. We emulate those we admire, those we love. And I believe I chose well. Let me tell you why, what I learned from him.
“Integrity is everything to me. I will not die ashamed. I will live on my deathbed knowing that I gave it my best shot, and everything else is meaningless to me.”
― Lemmy Kilmister
Now how many people agree? How many of us want to be able to say that, on our deathbeds, to know we've lived life well? Because that's what it boils down to, living your life well. Making yourself proud. Take a moment and think. Wonder. Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself?
We all have an 'inner me', a voice that we listen to, that guides our dreams, our ideals. It's a remnant from our childhood, I believe, something from that long ago, an image of what our adult life should look like. Look at it, if you can. Now, it's impossible to remain in the same spot, to grow up exactly how you dreamed. And of course you cannot retain your ideals from twenty or thirty years ago. It's virtually impossible, with life and experience, new dreams blossom and that's great. But we're not talking about that. If you wanted to be an astronaut when you were five, but you're an airline pilot at thirty-five, that's fine, provided it's what you want.
Parents always try to shield their children from the world, from all the bad and all the wrong in it, and it's only natural that looking back to your own self as a child, you can't help but feel protective towards it. So, imagine that your child self – you when you were five or six – were to see you now. Would he/she be proud of you? Would you try to shield them from your present self? Have you become one of the bad guys?
How far are you from your mental image of how you should be? I ask you again, are you proud of who you are? Do you think you did well? Or are you ashamed? If someone were to hold a mirror up to you, would it find you wanting?
It's a question we tend to ignore, to pass up on. We don't want to ask ourselves that, because often the answer comes out as a disadvantage. And if we are forced to answer this question, we lie, because it's prettier. It's an image of ourselves we can deal with. And we all want to deal.
Be true
Okay, so if you're not living the life you wish for, what's stopping you? Exactly why aren't you there?
And who says you couldn't be?
I believe that one of the few worthwhile rules in life is be true to yourself. It's what I try to do. It's what I've always tried to do. I read the phrase in a book, once, when I was a kid, and I remember liking it. I wasn't sure why, I didn't really know what it meant, but I thought it sounded great and cool. And overall badass. And the more I live, the more I understand these words and their importance. I can't give you their dictionary definition, I can't tell you what they mean by the book, 'cause I ain't got a book. What I can do is tell you what they mean to me. They mean don't let anyone walk all over you. They mean hold your head high and proud, stand by your ideas, even if nobody else does. Believe in yourself. Don't do things if you don't think they're right. Moreover, if you think something or someone is wrong, have the guts to say so. It may not earn you many friends, but at least you don't have to go to sleep every night with a heavy heart. If you think someone's a poser, call them out on it. You have the ability to think, use it.
“Home is in here [tapping temple]. Where you live is just a geographical preference.”
― Lemmy Kilmister
Another great one, which leads me to my next point. If you're not at home with you, what have you got? Where are you at home? And if that place or if that someone suddenly vanishes from your life, what do you do? Do you collapse? Are you homeless, all of a sudden? Now, I don't know about you, but it doesn't sound like a very smart way to live to me. You should be alright wherever you go, your state of wellness should not depend on any outside forces, but on you. And that's why it's important to lead a life that you'd be proud of. I mean, let's face it, you're not stupid. You're not going to be the home of some jerk, are you?
So check in with yourself, every now and then. Think well, see if there's anything you try to hide from yourself. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to tell anyone. Come face to face with whatever's bothering you, with the ugly part that lives inside and ask yourself how you got there. And change that. It's never too late to change or go back. Make it right, while you still can, because why not? You have the right to be anyone you want.
“I don't do regrets. Regrets are pointless. It's too late for regrets. You've already done it, haven't you? You've lived your life. No point wishing you could change it.”
― Lemmy Kilmister
Last, but not least, live your life. Be proud. Be brave. Dare. Be loyal. Laugh. Trust yourself and you'll be alright.