Every day involves a fight for something.
Today my fight is for focus. I am lucky. A friend is fighting for her son's life.
This weekend she discovered a stash of heroine in her son's room during a routine clean. She hadn't meant to search, she said, but there were some clues something was amiss as she tidied, so she broke her own rule and opened a drawer.
When we go looking, we may find that which we cannot unsee.
I don't know what I would have done. There have been deaths in our community recently that were drug-related.
I have no criticism of my friend. I am only noting how her life felt manageable one day and destroyed the next. Her maternal intuition kicked in. She followed it. The consequences of knowledge and how we gain it can be quite powerful.
Her son left to stay with his friends. "You don't trust me," he said, "or you wouldn't have searched my room." He is 18, in his first year of college. His program allowed him the option of living at home. He chose to stay, ironically as a way to keep himself out of trouble. He has a goal of graduating a year early.
"I didn't want to let him leave," she told me. She stood in my entryway, crying. I gave her a hug.
I can't imagine her paralysis in that moment -- knowing her child is of an age she can't legally detain him, not wanting to call the police due to potential charges when maybe her kid can shake this thing, make a comeback.
He is still attending classes. There is something to be said for that. And for the fact that she is reaching out for support rather than hiding in shame like others I've known.
It would be a wonder if we could de-stigmatize addiction. I am not a drug user. That is my choice because I do struggle with depression and I have seen how easy it is to not stop seeking relief, how that "relief" becomes a new struggle one needs relief from.
For my friend, I will keep sight of positives.
Again, her son is still attending classes.
She has friends to hear and support her.
Her son is loved, loved, loved.
She is loved, loved, loved.
More positives will become obvious, even in the case that more negatives show up. I am certain of it. For every cloud, its silver lining. And for now, let love be enough.
Images via Pixabay