I want to talk about what attracts us to other people and how to use this knowledge to please a new acquaintance or to strengthen already.
1. Copy the behavior of the interlocutor
During a conversation, use similar gestures and facial expressions, repeat the posture of the interlocutor. According to research, this behavior speeds up the emergence of sympathy Chameleon Effect.
2. Spend more time with who you want to have a relationship with
We are more likely to like people who are familiar with us. Psychologists conducted an experiment Exposure effects in the classroom: The development of affinity among students. : four girls, unknown to students, attended classes at the university. Some came often, others rarely. Then the students were shown their photos and asked to say who they are attracted by. It turned out that those who were more often seen in class.
3. Praise the interlocutor
People associate adjectives that you tell them in praise, with your own character. This phenomenon is called a spontaneous transf
er of qualities. Spontaneous trait transference to familiar communications. It works and vice versa: if you constantly negatively speak about a person, then what you say about him, begin to ascribe to you yourself.
4. Demonstrate positive emotions
We are strongly influenced by the mood of others. Often we unconsciously experience the same emotions as the interlocutor of the Emotional Contagion. To make a pleasant impression, demonstrate a positive attitude.
5. Do not be afraid to seem imperfect
Having demonstrated a shortcoming or having made a mistake, you show that nothing human is alien to you. Scientists have discovered this by investigating how mistakes affect sympathy. The effect of a pratfall on increasing interpersonal attractiveness. The participants listened to the recording of the quiz. If someone correctly answered all the questions, but at the end accidentally spilled coffee, he liked them more than the one who was perfect.
6. Emphasize common attitudes
We stretch The prediction of interpersonal attraction. to people who are somewhat like us. This is called the effect of attraction by similarity. And we especially like people with whom we have common negative features.Being Liked is More than Having a Good Personality.
7. Perceive the interlocutor the way he wants to be perceived
People want to be seen as they see themselves. When a person's idea of
us coincides with the Self-Verification Theory. with our own image of ourselves, the relationship develops successfully. We feel that we are understood, and this is necessary to establish trust.
8. Share something personal
This will help to establish relationships and get to know a person better. Start with general themes (for example, which movie you both recently watched) and gradually move on to a more personal one. Then tell me something secret about yourself. So there will be a sense of intimacy, and it will be easier for the interlocutor to trust you in the future.
9. Let the interviewer talk about himself
Researchers at Harvard University found Disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding. , that, speaking of ourselves, we experience pleasure, comparable to the pleasure of eating, money, and sex. Therefore, let the interlocutor tell something about himself. So he will have more pleasant memories of your conversation.
10. Behave as if you like the person you are talking to.
When we believe that a person is well disposed towards us, we ourselves begin to feel sympathy for him. This phenomenon is called reciprocal sympathyReciprocity of Liking.
In addition, when we assume that people will treat us well, we behave towards them more warmly. So we increase the chances of making a favorable impression on the person of Warmth Explains the self-fulfilling Prophecy of Anticipated Acceptance.
If you are not sure how your interlocutor treats you, act like you like him. So he is more likely to sympathize with you.
