I used to be hard, used to be strong n rough
I used to beat my chest with a closed fist n could never get enough
I used to stand tall with my head held high
I used to shake hands firmly and look everyone straight in the eyes
I used to get into fights and occasionally end them too
I used walk into a room and be the smiling guy everyone knew
Life was a war with a series of battles and chess was the game
I believed i could out think out smart out play any player all the same
Nobody could hurt my queen no body could best my plan
I believed i was the epitomy and greatest of all present man
I used to wish i could split myself in two so that the love and greatness i was could be shared
I thought so highly of all i had become but truth be told i was never more unprepared
Ive forgotten my greatness was but a gifted fraction from jesus himself
In forgetting the lord i broke my soul and poisened my spiritual health
Today im soft, fragile and weak
I can barely stand the pressure in my chest made by my own heart beat
In fact i dont stand today i just barely crawl
Head bowed eyes down, afraid if i stood i would instantly fall
Ill tell people i pick n choose my fights being wise
But the truth is im too afraid to fight and my wisdom is a disguise
My smiles are often forced and id rather not be seen all together
Im afraid of my destiny afraid of my forever
Ive grown weary of battles and the war is closing in
If chess was the game im but a single pawn with only a king and queen left to win
My challenger has bested me thus far with wit and finesse
The devil happens to be unexpectedly amazingly good at chess
The epitomy of man of thought of skill! Not even close
Im the epitomy of the weakest possilbe will at most
I now wish i could not be duplicated but destroyed into the dust
For my mistakes my selfishness, greed, and lust
I feel more related to the worst of mankind than ive ever dared to envision
A feeble human wanting to just love yet deceived and entrapped with precision
Though i feel my worth is smaller than a grain of sand
There are but few facts
I truly understand
I am broken, i am weak, im hurt
Humbled to my knees and thirsty
I lay upon the ground begging and praying for peace and mercy
If Chess be the game i need no longer be the controlling player
My calling is to be a humble pawn at the mercy and service of someone greater.
I can only hope i am not too late to lay my life at the feet of the one true king
Though afraid i pray im not too imperfect to be a witness to his mighty conquering.
If Chess be the game let the devil play the lord
Let me only play the part that i was born and designed for
If chess be the game and i but a
pawn
Let the lord guide me to the opponents end so that i a new being should respawn
If chess be the game and as a pawn i should die
Let my sacrafice be for the lord the greater end of all and I.
If chess be the game i but a knight
Let the lord purpose me to his will in the fight
If chess be the game and should i be any other piece
Let me trust in the lord and fulfill my purpose with ease.