How can you be yourself, if you don't know yourself?

A very good question, we’re always told to be ourselves, to follow our hearts. We are ridiculed and called out as “fake” if we’re ever a little different from our normal selves. Personally I’ve had friends say “you aren’t yourself lately, what happened to the old Cameron” hearing that always broke my heart because I didn’t even know if I was being the real me or if I’d changed. I was ultimately confused. I’ve come to realize that who I am, is and always will be, in the present moment. Sometimes I feel like joking around, so I’m cheerful and playful. Other times, I am mellow and would enjoy a thought provoking conversation. I change moods and vibrations all the time, it doesn’t mean I’m not myself, I’m just in a different mood in this present moment. So I say different things and make different decisions. Life as we know it is this vibe right now, ALWAYS. So how are you feeling? Whatever the answer may be that is your experience of life in this moment, yesterday you were in this moment, and tomorrow you will be in this moment. It’s a constant swim through a sea of different vibrations, some feel nice, others not so nice. But its always changing, you can’t be happy forever nor can you be depressed forever, anymore than you can stay the same person forever.

Now just as we can learn to manipulate our thoughts and in turn choose how we want to feel and actively make our way towards that feeling, we can choose who we want to be. This might sound weird but who you are, is who you would like to be. If I was to ask you what kind of person you would like to be and you came up with a list of answers, that would say much more about you than any inner search for something you’ll never find. My brother always told me “don’t find yourself, design yourself.” But there’s a confusing catch to this, your ego will make you think you want money, big muscles, or popularity. So you need to be able to distinguish ego desire of your ideal self vs authentic desire of your ideal self. The ego wants what will build its character, what will get attention or status. The authentic self wants deep fulfillment, it wants to take part in something bigger than itself, a calling, a purpose, something of meaning. I’m going to try to break it down into 3 things you can do to become a little more clear on who you are and why you might be here, and who you are destined to become.

1 — Detach from ego asap First things first, realize that you are not your ego, you are not what others think of you, you are not the success in your life, you are not your talents, possessions, achievements, challenges, looks and all. You are an infinite being having a human experience and the biggest con of the human experience is the human ego. This idea in our heads that we need to be better than everyone else, to succeed, that our value as a human is determined by our bank account or successes.

There’s a big “how to not give a fuck” movement right now, and I could not agree more with that philosophy. Just let go! Of course this is easier said than done, but once you’ve mastered this step, you’ll feel a huge weight lifted off your soul. I plan on writing more about how you can achieve this but a quick way of detaching from the ego is to do something for someone else. Not for a thank you but just to help, begin to desire something for someone else more than you desire it for yourself and you will be met with an amazing feeling of fulfillment.

2 — Decide who you want to be I remember meditating one day and thinking about the kind of person I wanted to be. Who I would show up as, for myself and for others. I began visualizing this guy sitting cross legged with good posture speaking on a subject that could change lives, sharing insight on how others can live a life free from concern. This person articulated well. They were in total control of their actions, decisions and feelings. The reason I visualized myself as this is because I always want to be that person who is free from concern and in control so others can feel safe and comfortable around me. At any moment I am able to uplift people.

4 weeks later, I go through a big shift in the way I see the world. A spiritual awakening that would change the course of my life forever. I can confidently say that I am becoming the guy I envisioned during that meditation. Michelangelo said about the statue of David what I am trying to say to you. “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” You, the real you has always been inside of you. All you gotta do now is carve and set him free. Personally I’ve been doing this and its changed my life in so many wonderful ways. Once I detached from my ego I saw clearly who I was, who I am destined to become. I started sharing my actual feelings, speaking from the heart. I stopped drinking alcohol and coffee, I quit nicotine, all because I knew what my statue looked like, so I started carving to set him free. I really hope this helps you shed some light on who you are so that you can finally be yourself and in turn live a life of real meaning and fulfillment.

Cameron Dube, HUMBOWL