Love is defined in many ways; a word that has a lot of meaning. Love for me is when you learn to set him free not for your own joy but for his.
I was sweet 16 when I first met him. He was introduced to me by my friend who works as a teacher around Katipunan, Quezon City (Philippines). I just entered College and was studying in Miriam when my friend invited me to eat outside. That was when she introduced him to me. He is 5'8" tall, with fair and reddish skin, he has almond, hazel colored eyes which makes me want to stare at it all day, he is chubby and cute. He is not my dream guy, but cupid hit him hard and he started courting me. He was not always in Manila because he lives in Baguio City (Philippines). We talked using yahoo messenger and we even had a clan named NPR (No Permanent Room) back then.
He is a sweet and humorous guy, no wonder why I fell for him too. He made me feel beautiful and cared for. Not for long I gave him the sweetest yes-that was May 21, 2009. It was a long distance relationship as he was in Baguio while I am in Manila. He visits Manila whenever he has to buy clothes with his Aunt in Divisoria, and we take that time to enjoy each other's company. I am already happy for the little time we have together and it feels as if I don't want the time to end anymore. Long distance relationship is not easy and I always long for him. I am always patiently waiting for a day to be with him again. Good thing we have technology to make it a little easier. It takes trust and communication for the relationship to last.
We had one of the most challenging problem when I was introduced in a Christian community. Most of the time we debate about our beliefs and I know I was wrong to push him to change what he believes in. It was world war 3 and it lead to a break up. It was a petty fight and we realized we were wrong. He pursued me, wanting me and us back together. It was the second yes and we made sure not to argue over our beliefs and that was our promise to each other.
The day came when he received an invitation from his relatives from Japan to work there. He enrolled on a tutorial to learn how to speak Nihongo. Everyday I prayed for him not to continue his plans and even mentioned it to him. I begged him not to go, knowing that long distance relationship when we are both in the Philippines is hard. We know for a fact that it will be harder if he is a country away from me. He agreed and promised to stay. However, I felt betrayed when he called and said that his flight will be the following week from that time. I was down and I can't believe that he hid it from me.
Then came the following week but I am still not talking to him no matter how hard he try to call or text, until his flight. I still did not talk to him even when he arrived Japan. Months went by and he was still trying to reach me pouring out his heart, apologizing. I accepted his apologies and I extremely missed him that I forgot what he did immediately. We used viber as our form of communication. It was not easy to wait for him and to long for that day when I will hug and hold his hands again.
I missed the warmth of his body and everything about him. He decided to have a quick vacation here in the Philippines which made my heart glad. I went to the airport and waited for him all day. I sat there and saw airplanes back and forth, wearing the widest smile, excited to see him again. His flight got delayed and he arrived around 7pm. I felt bashful and my heart was beating so fast. We spend the night together in Manila but he has to go home to Baguio the following day.
A week has passed when I decided that I want to be with him again. I decided to sell my phone just to suffice the expenses to go to Baguio. I lied to my parents and went there with the little money I have. It feels like eternity and I hugged him for awhile, elated that I am with him again, it was a well spent day. I have to go back to Manila and saying good bye to him was the hardest.
The day came that he has to go back to Japan. I can't be with him because I have a class. Everyday, seeing a plane in the sky brings a smile in my face, reminding me of the happy moment that I have him in my arms. We talked to each other through viber but as time goes by he started to be cold until we only had a little communication. There was even a day that he was not talking to me nor messaging me at all. Nights became lonely and negative thoughts were haunting me.
I felt so neglected, my heart and my soul was crushed. One day he messaged asking how I am. I started throwing him long messages demanding an explanation why he did not contact me. He said that he was busy and life abroad is not easy at all. He is unsure for both of us and all he know is that he was tired. I no longer want to add a bruise in my heart and did not ask further. I know what he meant, he wanted freedom. It is painful but I have to make a choice, either I will let go of him or fight for us alone.
It was the saddest and most painful thing I ever experienced; ending a relationship that I cherished and protected. He is my first love and it has been 4 wonderful years. We have built wonderful dreams together and demolishing it will not be easy but is even harder to rebuilt everything with someone else. I trusted him and hoped that we can be together despite the distance. I persevered but I have to stop because I cannot do things alone. Long distance relationship never worked for me only because the other one gave up. It was an adventure at first but turned into a misadventure.
Surviving Long Distance Relationship
Long distance relationship is challenging and it takes 100% commitment in order to survive it. It has to be a two way relationship, you can't do things alone. It has to be a teamwork, without the other there will be a slim chance of getting to the goal. This is true to all kinds of relationship, you have to do things together. You can't force love, you deserve someone who will fight for you.
No matter how love is patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, not keeping records of wrongs, not delighting in evil but rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres, it wont work if you will do things by yourself.
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