It all started when i was 15 years old... I had just lost my father to cancer and was suffering from an extreme case of depression and anxiety attacks were a daily occurrence. It was so bad I couldn't even stay in the house I had grown up in. When I was there I was tortured by memories of him and couldn't sleep without night terrors. I would awake to a rapid heartbeat and tears filling my eyes . So I stayed with a few friends in the town closest to my home. Soon after that I picked up a few new habits. I smoked marijuana and cigarettes daily to cope with the pain . Alcohol also played a big role in my life for the next year. Then one summer day I was doing my morning routine of getting high and drinking a few swings off a bottle of tequila to get the shakes to go away when a friend of the people I lived with showed up. He was clearly under the influence of something but wasn't acting how I had ever seen marijuana effect someone. He floated in and out of consciousness on the couch and looked rather happy about it. He came to and realized I was looking at him with intrigue. " You ever been nodded before?" he asked . "Nodded?" I replied. He produced a small square of wax paper from his sweater pocket and asked for a plate . Rather curious I walked to the kitchen and went in the cupboard for a plate. Lets call him Jay , and my roommate talked in the other room. I could here my roommate ask Jay if he thought i could "handle it" and he said "we'll find out wont we". I return and hand him the plate . He dumps out the contents of the wax paper onto the plate and its a brown chunky powder. He then uses his I.D and chops up the chunks and separates it into two lines on the plate . borrowing a five dollar bill from me he rolls it up tight into a tube and snorts one of the lines with a sigh of relief and hands me the plate. Reluctant at first I slowly took the plate and set it down in front of me. " Come on dont be a pussy " he said motioning for me to follow his lead. I lean down bill in hand and sniff the powder up my nose. A tart chemical taste comes into my throat and I cough a little . "Now we wait" he said with a chuckle...
Ten mins go by and something begins to happen. My face begins to feel warm and a similar soft warmth rises up from inside my chest. I love it. I begin to " Nod" after 15 minutes . it was the most comfortable and care free I had felt in months. I felt no pain as I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand , I woke up to my friend taking it from my hand and putting it out in the ashtray laughing at me all the while. " how ya doing there bud? " Jay ask. I could barely keep my eyes open let alone respond to his question. Then a blissful sleep followed. That was the first time I tried an opiate. It was not only an opiate but one of the strongest there is, heroine...
From then on I didn't go a single day without getting some for about two weeks . Until I ran out of money I had been saving for almost a year at the time. The first day I couldn't afford any was like hell on earth. I sweat non stop and swung wildly from feeling hot to freezing and getting chills accompanied by goosebumps. I was sick. I was sick from not having the drug in my body and it was used to it. This is when everything started to go down the tubes...