I was traveling through the desert of Tuton, in the capital of Narnia.
Don't they know that Narnia has a desert?
What uneducated people!
As I was in search of Captain Barbatos' coveted treasure, he took me to the great desert of Tuton, with its sandy but lethal sexual curves, and I ventured into it like a fish in search of water.
On my way to greatness I met a guy with a big hat and a cowboy outfit.
(I don't know if he's playing some kind of sheriff for his age I thought).
But that...that...haughty pose like killing cockroaches in a rose parade and his ugly chimp face dipped in rice water told me:
¡¡¡¡What are you looking for here!!!!
I'm looking for Captain Barbatos' treasure!
Can you give me a hand?
I said amicably
With a mocking laugh he said
hahaha are you delirious or what?
No, but with that ugly face of yours, your body must be dying of disgust!
I said it making a ¡hey look at yourself in a fucking mirror! face.
Indignant he said:
You're kind of looking for a roll in the hay, aren't you?
You wish, Mr. chicken foot
Angrily he walked as if he was going to run over an animal on the road, blowing smoke out of his ear as if he were a railroad man.
He looks at me and says:
You think you're so funny Mr. Comedian.
Not so much haha I'm as bad at humor as a clown at a funeral.
I said with a nervous look on my face.
Hey, can we stay and fight like two cats with foam at the mouth or go our separate ways, what do you say?
I said with a smiling face.
But he looked at me like a raging bull to a shit, he said:
NO!
I with a jojo pose and in a strong and very manly voice told him:
YES!
Before anything happened
Luckily for the guy, evidently! the vehicle arrived that was going to take me somewhere else on my new quest, because where he was, apart from the guy who looked like a two-legged buffalo in the mud, I found no clue of anything....
I said with an air of grandeur
I'd like to spend some time on this romantic evening but I have to go, the bearded capital is waiting for me with his treasure.
I didn't wait for him to say anything and epically ignored him.
imaginary applause is heard.
There was no time to waste on ape fights over a watch in a seedy neighborhood.
¡I had to focus on my trip, that treasure wasn't going to disappear!
The guy next to the driver told me.
hey chibi what's up achi
He said it while eating tobacco whatever he was eating.
I said nonchalantly and with mysticism in my voice.
nothing important that I need to comment on
-ou ou ou calm down
with a lot of confusion, I could hardly understand him I said
What? no no no
you are looking for a fightg
I thought what the hell is going on!
With pacifist gestures as if to stop the Russia-Ukraine war I told him
no friends I'm not looking for a fight, it's just that I haven't had breakfast and I'm not in a good mood.
As I said it with some nervousness and his friend looked at me as if he could see into my soul and immediately the other said
ou I don't believe youg
I thought his comment smelled like rotten eggs.
Mei you will have to show me
He said it as if he had a double intention.
ok my friend how do I do it
He was rubbing his hands together like a typical Latin American politician with public money.
ou for theg psychologicalg damage caused I will need compensationg.
Really?
I told him indignant enough to burn him to the ground even though my brother's house burns even worse.
This guy is trying to legally mug me!!!.... ¡¡¡I have to do something! ¡¡¡!!!
I composed myself and calmed down as if Buddhas were dwelling inside me, I couldn't let this new obstacle stand in my way.
I wiggled my fingers and I know how to fix all this!
I set off for my new destination.
I winked and handed a dictionary to Mr. Macaw Face and with a tranny pose I thanked him in the gayest way and left.
I hope that's compensation enough
I told them victoriously like a peacock on parade.
They looked at me dumbfounded as if I saw a ken sinking his canoe in the depths of the sea.
So I continued my journey searching the sands for clues.
In a considerable time of searching I got lost wandering from place to place I no longer knew the way to go as misfortunes love company and along with hitting my crotch I damaged the umbrella I was carrying, I was running out of water to top it off the compass was discharged.
Thinking philosophically about the mysteries of the universe? Don't you think I should have bought an electronic compass?
Damn it! I can't afford to lose the treasure.
¡LET ALONE MARGARID BEING RIGHT ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT ME!
I plucked up my courage and with a Spartan pace I moved forward and thought to myself:
when things get desperate, it's always Grandpa Renverto who says ......
listen little grandson when all is lost and there is no glimmer of light or hope remember that .....
¡doing something silly can work!
Really?
I said with a non-vegan alphabet soup bunny face.
Yes, and you'd be surprised how useful it is!
He said it with full confidence in his saying.
So remembering his majestic words and thinking how very bad the situation must be to even think about doing that and I set out to ........
¡¡¡¡¡Jump like a rabbit!!!!!
Why?
Why? .... Snails!
So I set out to jump to improve my desperate situation.
In one of my jumps I found a coin with the figure of a somewhat dubious bearded man.... but oh well! Turns out it was a clue to .....
the treasure of Captain Barbartos.
I couldn't have been happier with my find than a bear finding honey in the desert.
I thought at last!!! I found a clue to finally find the long sought after treasure.
But wait.... I thought like einstein in the critical state I am in now I threw my hands to my head and said:
¡¡¡Don't I already have a water problem? ¡¡¡!!!
I took off like a wild goose chase in search of a path to a human settlement.