The interest that has been the most constant, over the last years, among all the things that I like doing, is exploring my inner psyche.
I noticed very early, even though I couldnt really understand it in its full scope, that a lot of the things that experienced on a daily basis, like emotions, thoughts and other feelings, didnt really belong to me. Only now I can see what a heavy load I was carrying, given to me by society and my ancestors.
So I went out, to let go of some old information still stored in my system, to make space for new things to come into my life.
I will try to give an overview, on how in my experience, our psyche stores these things, and how we can clean it.
In no way I claim this to be the only way there is to get effective results.
All I can say is that it worked for me, and the way I present it here is actually a combination of different approaches, that to me seemed contradictory at first, but now are resembling a whole.
The ingredients come from parts of yoga, psychotherapy and modern energy work.
The first part that is important to learn, and this is actually on what everything else is built, is how to let go.
How to let go of trying to „control“ thoughts, physical sensations, emotions, …
What you have to understand, is that you actually are not in control. When one starts this work, what appears to be control is actually a forceful holding against the natural flow, that is ultimately doomed to failure.
For most people their mind is cluttered with believes and thoughts tied to old emotions, like regret and fear. These long held believes will by then have made their impact on our body, in terms of posture or even illness.
With learning to let go of these believes, and long held regrets, you can start to finally relax into being in the present moment. *
The only thing that keeps everyone from being in a naturally internally silent and blissful state, are their blockages, that show up in the form as just described.
As an example, we might have been holding a grudge towards a close family member for a long time. When we feel into our body, we can experience the tension this grudge has caused in our stomach. While feeling this tension, the emotions and thoughts associated with this family member might start to arise.
This is what we can call an emotional complex, consisting of certain feelings and believes, tied to a stimulus or object we once encountered.
What you have to do, to get all that out of your system, is when the sensation comes, including all thoughts that arise, to stay with it and let it run through you without interfering. They will slowly start to dissolve. You might feel, that there are other areas in your body, or mind that need attention first, before you are able to completely dissolve this grudge. How ever any work will help, even though you may not have been able to dissolve something fully, you probably still have managed to at least loosen up the knots.
This is what a good psychotherapist does. They will help you to locate those believes, and its origins, that influence you the most in a less then beneficial way. Then they will offer you the space to fully stay with the experience and not run away from it
Important is, to really let the body do its thing. If movement wants to arise. let it happen. If it wants to vocalize, let it happen. Its all part of the bodies integrated self-healing mechanism.
As soon as you start to do this, the energy stuck in the believe system will transform, and you will start to feel more space inside.
In this period you might notice feelings and emotions coming up, or unusual dreams at night. Try to be unattached to those feelings and try to not get lost in thought loops around those sensations, but also dont dissociate from them. Theres a line between accepting what comes up, as your reality and compeltely dissociating from it. We are looking for the middle. A fully feeling, but yet unbiased observer.
Now with in this new gained internal space, there is room for new things to flow into you and your life.
This might manifest as a new type of feeling, previously unknown to you, or a new situation or person that shows up in your life(which is basically just a reflection of your internal change, more on that in another post).
Once you have managed to dissolve the most "space taking" of believe systems, which might take from a couple of months to a couple of years, depending on your constitution and the amount of energy and time you are willing to put into the process, you are ready to start engaging with reality on a much deeper level!
So start slowly to create space in your system, and enjoy the peaceful and joyous vitality that is naturally given to you in every moment!